kill me with that grin`

2007-07-21T21:48:00.000+08:00

happy birthday wonny ((: uve been a truly great friend! mmmhmmm! wise and all!

its cool how u live opposite me, and super hilarious how you always think id be a peeping tom WHEN THERE'S THIS HUGE TREE THAT COVERS YOUR WINDOW! i'll always remember your lamo words and how i'd always laugh at wadever u say! (: its really cool now ure seventeen. hahaha. i thank you for all the time you took the spend with me when i was back though you were busy yourself! will miss you loads! love you boy!

2007-05-14T23:02:00.000+08:00

HELLOWORLD(:

you guys actually visited this old hangout! :) ive moved!
no more cows! cos i think we've had enough of them huh!

hey love;

pop on by then!(:
http://www.xanga.com/alll_iwant

2007-01-28T12:35:00.000+08:00

ahhh. (: long due post of what happened before i left OUR LITTLE RED HOME. oh and this blog would still be around, the other one is more of life in aussie, so my

family can read too, mmmhmm.

anyway, JONJON came from msia for the newyear! so we hungout while he was still here! gohpah came down too! we went to vivo. where we checked out the ship that docked where dear doulos had perviously docked. BARNEY ROCKS SEE! :D i used to like barney alot when i was a kid! and i think caleb has good taste :)) anyway! i had a blast that day! had a long car ride back home with gohpah! told him about the boy-friend talk mummy wanted to give me, that i refuse to hear cos it gave me the hibbiejibbies! godpah says i should let her talk about it, if not it'll be like gek sai like that! hah!

so anyway anyway, the 3rd pic' s of some LOUSY potato (fart-like smelling) thing from sakae! when for last dinner with min and wonny! argg. i thought it was nice, cos the one i ate in thailand was GOOD. BUT! oh wells! that night was really cool too! driel and min and i. ate alot i think?

THE WHOLE 2nd row sums up all my photos with driel! i dont really have any normal ones with him! its all either really blurry, cos id laugh really really hard when taking pictures, or, like those up there. weird and spastic and crazy.
we finally took a normal one the day i left.

AND the last row's of course- of the last sunday with min. mmhmmmmmmm. good ole days of such fun and laughter! and ship life , RHHHH>

the weekend after min left was fusion workshops and AHH. we see sopphaye in the picture. (:

guess what happened that day! i find it so idiotic! seriously! after lunch, debs and i were like so ummm, in our own world right, the rest of them were so slow behind us. so we took the escaltor up, by the time we reached the 2nd floor, they were still quite far behind, like they just got on the escalator. we didnt realise that THAT was our floor, and continued taking the ULTRA LONG escalators up to the convention halls! WE ONLY REALISED NONE OF THEM WERE BEHIND US WHEN WE REACHED THE 6 floor!

super idiotic! they saw us getting on the wrong escalator and never call out to us! maybe john did, but i dunno why he didnt call out any louder!

anyway! i asked glenn, WHY DIDNT YOU TELL US!

and he was like, " doyou know HOW LONG that escalator is not!"

and i was like: " DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG THE ESCALTOR IS ANOT!"

it was really hilariouse, and dumb, but whallao, the escalator was SO LONG lar. and they just let us ride it like dumbdumbs):

ANYWAY, the rest left after workshops. so it was just the 5 of us! driel went home to sleep, daff, prolly mug, jake to his eric clapton concert. korkor had to leave half way through our HUGE brainstorming process, because the dancers needed his help.

so it was just sophayee candycanes and debdebs and i!

fantabulous dinner! debs got high. like seriously. she's really cute and funny, and she giggled and laugh! hahahah. was so funny seeing her high :D

so anyway, met up with graciepoo on monday, then little darius, then stayed home with mummy and daddy, on tues. went out for tea/lunch/dinner, with onion on weds. HOKKIEN MEE, and sugar water. TSK TSK. thurs was spent doing i cant remember what in the morn, and then i went down to town to get the stuff i reserved for wonny and debs, and then MRT-ed to ps, MANHATTAN FISH MARKET! awesome awesome time there! sik came! :D and mojo did too! and i thank god for everybody who came! was a really cool time, and jasper was SO LAME. omg.

and sik, I PROMISE (cos i cant swear) i promise i was really doing that cock eye thing! hoenest to death! you always think i cheat you and dont do it with you! but my eyes SO SMALL, that's why u cant see! YOU GOTTA ZOOM! haha!

and grace's boyfriend is so cute! LOOK! he was imitating us after sik and i did that fish face, IF BESTFRIEND EVER SEES THESE PICTURES, it'll be really good! cos he said i only have one face when i take pictures. THE AMANDA GRIN. arrrrrrrr.

androoo looks so cute! ahahahaha like some primary 2 boy! cant imagine he's gonna finish 5 years of uni ready! POWER MAN!

ok! enuff for now! gonna go off! sailing day and other pics another time then!

2007-01-18T12:11:00.000+08:00

YOU KNOW WHEN THEY SAY GOD IS TRULY AMAZING, HE IS TRULY AMAZING!!

makes me wanna stand on the mountain top and just shout it out to the whole world!
guess who i just found out is in perth! i thought she was in melbourne, but NA-AH!

JUDEEEEE :D

im so frickin excited now. she's staying so near my sch, and she even offered to let me stay with her :D COOL OR WHAT! and she told me she can help me with sch! and all that! SO EXCITING! SO SO EXCITING! she even knows of a job i can take! AWESOME AWESOME STUFF! and she's in OCF too! DWAY told me his cousin's there, and he asked me to joined OCF haha. with his cuzzie (:

i feel so blessed! first God provided petrina, who's been a major help!

then there was jeremy, the guy who thought me A LITTLE of what playing piano in contemp music was like, with kren. WHEN I WAS IN SEC 1. so amazing he remembers me! and he told me to call him, and his girlfriend if i needed anything.

things are looking so much better now. more reasons to stay in perth popping out from under the huge ole oak tree! will see where GOD leads, and WHEEE. JUDE'S STUDYING Psychology too! neuro smth smth. THE BRAIN. she asked me to join her bible study group. i rmb during SERVE, kren and her bible knowledge was like the mind-blowing kind!

OH WOW!

72 hours till im flying off!

told my cg on sunday i was feeling homesick already, and i thankgod for all the days i got to spend at home with mummy, watching sappy dramas, and slapstick humor shows.

( DID YOU ALL WATCH GIRLS ALOUD?! THAT GUY IS MADD! HE THOUGHT HE HAS THIS metal strip/ball in him to protect him from bullets! cos there's this like black thing under his skin. on his left arm, where his biceps, or rather, FATS were. yea. he claims that metal thing in his arm would move at the speed of whatever, to wherever the person was gonna shoot you. like it could SENSE. and so xiaxue aim this toy gun that shot metal balls out at his stomach. IT WAS SO STUPID. and then this woman did ground acupuncture and that was really stupid too! said there was evil things at that part of the ground. I DUNKNOW IF SHE WAS FOR REAL. stupidest show on earth! wonder where they find all this nutheads. )

anyway, went out with oddball yest for lunch/tea/dinner. was awesomeeeeeee. talking nonsence, AND FOR THE RECORD, hokkien mee is hokkien mee. the only division is GOOD or BAD, who categorises it into WET or DRY hokkien mee?! must save my face before he blogs about my theories! will go for dinner that andrew planned tonite. then there's SERVE dinner! mingyang's coming! hope georgieporgie will be there! WHEEE(: then sat might be breakfast with wonny, then off to uncle-daddy jason's yatch, with GODPAH, wifey, yan,grace,auntycorrine, aunty on-nah, BERN!

i better start packing now.

note to self: BE NICER TO DADDY. though he ask the lamest questions.

2007-01-14T18:46:00.000+08:00

7 days more. next sunday, i'll be exactly where i was today. HMM.
bobbin left for the PITTS today! to his melon growing sch.
and he made the pilot fly zigzag. hah.
its all just starting to sink in that im leaving already!
always thought i could be brave. WOULD be brave.
didnt really know what veenbean's BE STRONG really meant.
couldnt understand why ivan said it too.

ashamed to say during fusion, cried buckets cos all the songs spoke of how GOD would be there no matter what! like yea, and then song after song, they spoke of how he's love would be the unfailing thing. SO TRUE. in aussie baby, its me and the lord, and princess (THANKGOD) who's half an hour away! yea, there was this song about miracles, and i was like thinking, DO I NEED A MIRACLE TO SURVIVE? and they sang OUR GOD IS AN AWESOME GOD, and i dunno, maybe he just touched me! anyhow, debsdebs was really great at comforting people. really. dial 1800-quahdebwah- if u need anything!

today after service, i looked at androooey, and i was like ANDROOOOO! I"LL MISS YOU!
i really will! RHHH. how it all was last time.

LETS take a REWIND down memory lane

graciepooo. u took us when were full of teen angst. OMG. we would start talking in your class! boy were we mean! TILL TODAY I TOTALLY DONT KNOW WHAT YOU THOUGHT IN ACTS. im really sorry. i know that was the HARDEST lesson for us! dont even know what we were hearing you say. hahaha. auntie winnie and you must've had a really tough time! we always changed the subject! when u had ur lessons all planned out, we'd go one round, open our big mouths and just blab some random question, that would lead to really profound god knows how to answer questions, and that TOTALLY TOTALLY dystroyed your train of thought, or what your aims of teaching us were!

change is good- that's what they say, is it? really.

then came easter camp. planning it with ant the bestfriend and matt. OMG. and i had stage fright then, and i rmb ant saying ppl do over come it. i dunno how i did too. God's grace i guesss. (:

easter camp was a blast really, from the masss, to the late night planning, to the talking of nonsence to veen cos i was so dead tired. from laughing at matt's jokes and LAUGHING at bobin cos i thought he was so so amusing. esp the purple royal sleeping bag and his dead straight rip body. and his AH BENG SLIPPERS. and getting bullied by VEENPOPEANT. that was ultimate! the cab ride to dinner where they shush-ed me even before i could open my mouth! THANKGOD FOR LEENYBABEH! it was also durin easter camp where matt's 'bennett' got picked up by ant, and then by everyone else. just like serve. YA. but never mind. matt's cool:D

then there was the constant squeezing into anybody's car to go for lunch. everysunday! and poor drool's bear would get, UNDRESSED. and they call it the gay bear, WHATSOEVER. OH OH OH. and that odd one, keeps insisting infocom sucks, and touchee rocks. TSK, and then we'd argue over it the whole car ride!

AND THAT DAY! when the bestfriend thing started! we were all SQUEEZED in korkorpoo's car. sik was so slow she took androoey's car i think? anyway, ANT, ROBIN, NIAN, CHRIS. OMG. all of them were being mean! i was like trying to tell colleen where to go, and all of them started talking really loudly! and i couldnt here what lleen was saying! i even tried rolling down the windows! BUT I HAD TO GIVE UP THE THOUGHT OF TRYING,they were so LOUD. then oddball started picking on info com! then the arguement shifted to smth else, and ANTONIO stood up for me 0.0 cos we had the same birthday! so we became bestfriends! bestfriends forever, 'eurockmiiworld and ii rockurs or however the ahlians spell it. that was how ant pronounced it.

AND WELL. SOMETHING happened causing some madrush to have 'bestfriend argument'. SO GUO and LLENNYBABEH were bestfriends forming the apple and orange combi. DAN the most cunning man on earth, to sik, became HER best friend. and everyone, sik says looks can be deceiving and warns everyone to be weary of her deadly homie.

that was smth really crazy! :D

oh and i dunno what happened to the exclusive be nice to bennett day that smallguo proposed to ant and pope!

THEN THERE WAS THIS TIME WE WENT TO WATCH THIS HORROR SHOW. OMEN. so much for anti christ! frickin scary lar! the boy's eyes! and VEEN SLEPT THRU THE ULTRA SCARY PART! veanbean's the bestest. and that stupid pope kept laughing that i was scared by the devilish small boy.tsk.

okay, so after all the madness,ROBBBBIN and ANT LEFT )): was sadddddd and really quiet. and life was less interesting , but that brought about all the mugging sessions with drool who's like SUPER SMART, couldnt believe it at first, till he made genetics seem SO simple! got As in class! and he's super nice! and kind, and he has lousy map drawing skills! MMMMMHMM. nian and i got lost! BUT IT WAS FUN!:D

one morning during our hols, androoey brought 2 crazy kids to nus to mugg with him. we were really crazy. we did loads of funny things, and then STUPID androoey bluffed me bout GRACE! to think i still acted like an idiot helping him deny the claims that WERE TRUE!

anyway, that night on the way home, while TA-HAN-ning drool's CHEESY disney classic love songs, guo and i umm, left his BEAR bare and naked at the back of his car and his mummy confiscated it ): cos it was naked. but i thought most bears didnt wear clothes!

oct,nov came.more mugging, 16yrolds had their Os, while i went on the ship.

came back for VBC, SYC.

AND THEN BESTFRIEND CAME HOME! and ROBBBBIN too! then cranium on christmas day at ivan's was totally awesome! sik and i had a blast taking spastic shots, i was laughing at her. she would only do it if I did it, so i had to do it, so i could laugh at her. WAS WORTH IT! :D then jingyu cracked walnut!

bestfriend and i had like to compete against each other in one round of charades and I WON HIM. OF COURSE, it was due to the pope resembling some alien who was good at all these nonsence, like sculpting and guessing people's drawing and picking the RIGHT ans, just because it contained the longest statement. AND sik cant do charades man, she just makes u laugh so hard, by the time u finally catch ur breath, the other teams, like beat u flat!u all shudave seen what she was doing for JACKIE CHAN.

then there was the sleepover at my house on newyear's eve. my stupid aircon was spoilt so that was a bad thingg! but nana still wanted air con-.- so yea! if my room had been ALOT colder, i wouldve love to stay up! but it wasnt so i guesss that's why i didnt mind sleeping for 20 mins? YUPP. woke to send veeeeeeeeeen off )):

then there's also nat's bible study grouppies. i guess we've all grown alot. with prayer and petition. :) debsdebs dingdong version2 is super coool! she's been a real confidante! really awesome and sweet are you! lucas and you are the 2 CUTEST people on earth! my top 2! soph dan daff, handsome. iveee. NATTY! WE'VE ALL COME SO FAR! and WONNY. WONNY'S my rocking BUDDAYE. realleh. thanks for helping me survive! survive this fast paced crazy dancing world. BIKE RIDES. RUNS. TALKS. WHINES. SHOPPING. KILLING (u killed the crab!)DINING. CABBING. -bus. i'll miss them all! u're truly adriel wong ching chong. :) u're always there encouraging me. during worship and dance, THANKYOU! oh and what a BEAUTIFUL CAT YOU GAVE ME. and yea. MACS is HALAL. i shall go see whether they serve pork in macs down under. hah!

so much has happened in such a short time!
feels like just yesterday ant and bobin came home.

im so scared of what grades i'd get there. but ive heard it said that if you set ur heart right, thinking you're gonna overcome it, you can! and you will. i hope i can mugg like mad, ace everything like SOMEPEOPLE. im afraid too much csi, grey's anatomy, and prison break has polluted my mind! i mean the thinking process of it all! RHHHH. 3 mths of holiday! WE'RE GOING BACK TO SCH SOON. new hairdo. new home, new people, new country, new eating habits. new english. IM GONNA COME HOME AND SPEAK BETTER ENGLISH. i must! so i can OUT TALK some people.

and im planning to make a diff blog, cos my parents and cousins would wanna read about the cow's life and sometimes, too many emails make you feel sian, cos you write the same thing over and over again. driel says it should be

oceanswillpartwhenthecowfarts.blogspot.com

ive yet to decide

SO ANYWAYS.

2007-01-10T09:43:00.000+08:00

it feels frickin weird without min ): like my phone feels weird without a MIN popping up. the womaniser has really left us. )): but she has a ton of good photos in her cam. I MISS YOU MIN. we all do.. as yan said, all we have to think about- was the ship, and we'd cry. those were realleh good times. sitting at the sun deck, be it in the early morn, or gazing at the night sky, be it cheering u up with wine gums (: or watching u spread the nutella on your bread excitedly, be it YOU WRITING HORRIBLY in MY PRIVATE JOURNAL, or the bugging me to let you listen to- from the inside out! it was really cool eating like HUNGRY PEOPLE with you in uncle's room with auntycorrine staring at us! and all the times when we waited for our cheese to melt at the microoven! was cool borrowing stuff from each other too. mmhmm, the SHOES. and swapping mp3s.

you were an awsome listening ear, and i had a total blast staring at the sea in the rain singing testify to love! it was also really encouraging to work with you under the HOT SUN, and the 36000 bottles moving, you strong woman! and then there's the time at bookstore when we were spying on. ____ :D hahahahaaha. while we were working REALLY hard! SORRY YOUKNOWWHO:)! it wasnt fun when i tripped over that stupid SAFETY thing that holds the vans down. but it was funny when you told me that you almost fell after me! AMAZING. watching the dolphins with you was a totally awesome experience! and ive GOT this list of things i wanna do in life and one of it was stargazing with my dear friends, and im glad we got to do that with yan and grace! wasnt the sky just b e a u t i fu l. with the stars plenteous in sight! and we saw 2 falling stars! but i guess all good things must come to an end, and i really hope we get to meet doesnt matter whether aussie or spore! save me a room, in case i study in melbourne next year! ALRIGHT?? take care love!

2007-01-08T21:29:00.000+08:00

i was going through all my pictures today, and i saw this picture taken when veenycooper was leaving ): so i'll just post some of the pictures taken on veen's going awayday ): . MMMHMM

RHHH. THE POPE HAS THAT SAME SMILE AS ME . OMG. he's imitation skills work! RHHHH. the meanie. - anyway,i had only a few mins of sleep that explains the mini eyes.

and in row by row from left to right sequence, onion, bestest working with the polaroid. the idiotic smirk. llenveen. with veenbean and korkorpoo. the odd one again, HANDSOME, the puma boys, and veen and joannE looking realleh cute. :D

anyway, SMALLGUO the cheapthrill dong dong- SO DID NOT OWN ME AT BATTLESHIP THAT NIGHT. by the time he sunk all my ships, he just had 2 more left. THAT'S NOT OWN-ING OKAY! and jj and nian sucked at boardgames. they were like complaining that HOTEL is a boring game, and that they didnt get to buy any hotels, when nana and i already bought one each! so we ended up sleeping during the SLEEPOVER. mmhmm, then we woke before 4 to go to the airport. MMHMM. hope ure having a blast veen! BE STRONG, though you already are. and rmb what driel says, ' that you are the man, and dont let anybody tell you otherwise.' -.-

2007-01-08T01:46:00.000+08:00

ohmygosh! such beauty and splendor huh! the sky behind, show's God's grace and mercy!
like he IS so strong and mighty, yet so forgiving and loving and humble!

that's the swedish ship that has taken over the spot where doulos had docked 2 mths ago. i cant believe by tmr, it would have been 2 mths!

time flies.

happybirthdayjesse.

2007-01-05T23:58:00.000+08:00

so for once new year really means A NEW YEAR.

seriously, nothing has ever drastically changed - we all just grew older. but now, we're no longer toget.

i sat in fish&co for dinner, with ying in front of me with her wild hair and crazy punk braces and her forever eyeing-hot guys-brain and her totally piying laugh, watching her bob her head to some turn me on song. hah. and totally forgot that we'd be 18 this year. eighteen sounds old; but frickin cool. that deprived girl has not eaten there before. poor thing.

after a series of horrible horrible bollywood/iknowwhatyoudidlastsummer/barbie mix of music, \they played graduation. vit C. emo emo.

2006 has truly been a good year (: bestest ever. honestly.
doulos, serve, many many many friendships formed that totally matter.
i was telling lleenybabeh that i couldnt believe ive only known her for a year. seems like aeons ago when we cried in bk cos of the exact same problem. and how god has seen us through!

then there was my first m18 movie, mmmmhmm. and i cant really remember the rest of my year in exact details, but i know it was good!

driel says he has this premonition that i'll come back obese. i dont want to. jon and godpah and everyone else thinks i'll grow fatter ): i seriously dont want to! and the tv doesnt help by showing all those anorexic girls parading up and down constantly. RHHH.

and as you move on, remember me,
remember us and all we used to be
ive seen you cry, ive seen you smile.
ive watched you sleeping for a while.

i know your fears and you know mine.
we've had our doubts but now we're fine,
and I love you, I swear that's true.

goodbye my lover.
goodbye my friend.
you have been the one.
you have been the one for me.

thankyou all of you who made 2006 simply amazing.

yushu,est i do miss playing with you guys! thanks for teaching me alot. i'll always rmb trainings and streetneball! gmeth totally rocked with you guys. and u as my lab partner(:
ka you perv. :D hang in there, u'll survive just like you always have. ying(: thankyou for everything.at least i'll have jesus with me in aussie. AT LEAST.

2006-12-30T09:57:00.000+08:00

oceans will part

if my heart has grown cold, there your love will unfold.

as you open my eyes to the work of your hand,

when im blind to my way,

there your spirit will pray,

as you open my eyes to the work of your hand,

as you open my eyes to the work of your hand.

oceans will part, nations come,

at the whisper of your call.

hope will rise, glory shown,

in my life, your will be done.

present sufferings may pass, Lord your mercy will last,

as you open my eyes to the work of your hand.

AND my heart will find praise,

i'll DELIGHT in your way,

as you open my eyes to the work of your hand.

Jesus, dear lord, please open my eyes to the work of your hand

-hillsong ; mighty to save

2006-12-26T19:14:00.000+08:00

Christmas isn't Christmas

'Til it happens in your heart.
Somewhere deep inside you
Is where Christmas really starts
So give your heart to Jesus
You'll discover when you do

That it's Christmas

Really Christmas for you.

Jesus brings you warmth

like a winter fire
A light like a candle's glow.
He's waiting now to come inside
as he did so long ago.

Jesus brings gifts of truth and light
And makes them bloom and grow.
So welcome Him with a song of joy
And when He comes, you'll know...

That Christmas isn't Christmas

'Til it happens in your heart
Somewhere deep inside you
Is where Christmas really starts.

So give your heart to Jesus.
You'll discover when you do
That it's Christmas; really Christmas

REALLY Christmas, really Christmas for you.

this chrismas has been a meaningful one, i cant put everyone's picture up, cos i didnt get to take pictures with all the special people that made a huge differnce in life, but you all must know that you've all been a major blessing! from mighty to save, to wage dolls, from sweaters, to cushions, from lipgloss to cookies, from photoalbums to photographs to photo stands, from plushies, FINGER PUPPETS! to THINGS YET UNKNOWN, i absoulutely love it all. EVERYCARD brings tears, and every word would be cherished. i know it sounds mad, but im bringing them all over with me! i'll miss you all! argg.

im glad for ivan's party yest. it was a fun time with bestfriend and i sitting on similar giant eggs. and sik,bobin, ivee, charis and i winning CRANIUM. GREEN ROCKS. mmmhmm! to think we thought we were gonna loose and were almost prepared to have a funeral service conducted by the oh-so-famous pope. it was time well spent with the rocking people of fl. (:

thanks ivan!

2006-12-25T16:41:00.000+08:00

OKAY, first up, SALVATION IS HERE!

i was playing for worship, dancing, and sharing a testimony.

definitely not what i expected.

firstly, i REMEMBER telling nat i was dancing for it like a long time ago, secondly, i thought he mass send the whole worship min that there was worship prac. I DIDNT know it was only those who were SUPPOSED to play -.-

cos i figured that he knew i was dancing!

and the testimony thing was only confirmed the day before the rehearsal!

and the dance, well, i told yan that i might not be able to dance REALLY gracefully and what not! ANYHOW, i didnt know it would be THAT hard until the rehearsal day, when driel jake , and everyone else was sitting there, staring at me, and i was like, HUH, I AM SUPPOSED TO DANCE!

i felt so out of place, and badly wanted to run of, in fact ive felt that a million times, even during practices, but i didnt wanna just give up cos i didnt like feeling uncomfortable, and it would be TERRIBLY irresponsible to back out. even if it were 2 weeks before, to me that is. SO i stuck on. the worst comment was by judy. made me wanna just die. but ANYHOW, it was just the fear of everything and i really didnt wanna dance AT ALL. but thanks to abby min yan calida beckie becky, it was quite okay, cos they were REALLY supportive. like really really, telling me i could do it and all that during the rehearsal and final practices.

THEN SAT CAME,

AND WE PRAYED LIKE MAD.

daffy was praying for me, nana too. i was so scared i kept asking daffy to pray for me, but she also did without me bugging her too! awfully sweet darling!

and thanks to the awesome awesome PEOPLE, being behind me,

princess, WONNY, jake, quahdebwah, natty, daffy, dan, glenn, ivee jlc

:D

i guess it was a WHOLE lot better than the rehearsals.

mei jans nana, said so, MMM. i just thank god for pulling me throught THAT.

and during worship, i KNOW we had a feel mistakes,

but GLORY GOES TO GOD in the end!

THE WHOLE TEAM ROCKED (:

WHEEEEEEEE(:

and i thankgod for everyone! for natt too! for starting worship bible study, has brought new deeper rooted friends! I figured, after going through salvation is here,

with GOD,i can overcome anything. like TOTALLY.

i really really love this picture, i only have one copy of it, cos nat gave it to us for christmas, so i took a picture of it (: CHEATER'S method but who cares! its sat's band with the media team (:
we make a good picture! YAY, im definitely framing it up in aussie(:

2006-12-22T23:54:00.000+08:00

who needs diamonds when you've got friends like this!

thankyouall for being so sweet. touched beyond words. blessed beyond the curse.
MMMHMM.

PRINCESS, DRIEL, DEBSDEBS, JAKE, MIN, YAN, ABBY, GRACE, BECKYLIM, DAFFY NANA DANIELLE JANSEN

long thankyou speech ahead, avoid reading the repetitive thankyous, cos im really grateful to each and everyone of you! seriously!

thankyou princess for waiting! and being really sweet! thankyouthankyou thankyou! for all the encouragements and just caring and all the msgs!

driel (: wonny! i'll think of walter, no worries. thanks for beeing sucha BUDD. RHHH. for the words of wisdom the hugs and the knowing wad's going on, and for making me feel better! and waiting of course!

debsdebds(: your HUGG. YOUR TIME means alot dearest dingdong! thankyou for being my version 2! I LOVEYA!

jake hahah, thanks for making me laugh, or trying to make me laugh! and for making me seem like im a pro when you do alot better! and doing ur groovy moves, and just making it all seem like IT ISNT THAT BAD!

MIN! thanks for being there when im down, when i feel like kissing the wall! and helping me be girly and graceful and whatnot! thanks for coming esp early to help me! and for your never ceasing patience!

YAN! :D you've been awesome! with your fantastic amount of patience and encouragement! thankyou. and its really nice being ur mummy :) for the msgs, hugs and EVERYTHING. YAN!words cant express enough! but you must feel my huge amount of gratitude right!! (:

LITTLE GRACE, THANKS FOR GOING OVER THE SAME STEPS AGAIN AND AGAIN. for your presence and laughter and going I LOVE YOU BENNETT. hahahahah. LOVE(:

becky, you're so sweet! THANKS for your patience too! and the lessons to be gentle.(: and your guidance and being sweet!

ABBY ABBY ABBY! RHHH. you've been nothing but awesome! with the msgs too, and the hugs and the terribly encouraging, knocking-senses-into-my-head look on stage during rehersals, and the FOOD, and the laughter, and the PINK-ness of everything, SO ABBY! (: THANKYOU ABBYLICIOUS! i must say you rock my greeen socks till it knocks of jocks! WHA, it rhymes!

DAFFY NANA DANIELLE, THANKYOU THANKYOU> for your presence most beloved! thanks for your prayers and telling me it'll be fine, IM GLAD YOU GUYS ARE HERE TOGET, SALVATION IS HERE!

thankyouthankyouthankyou all again!:) much hugs and kisses, and countless thankyous, but im sorry i dont know any other word to express my thanks to all you people who've been such a bigg blessing! may GOD BLESS YOU MERRY GENTLEMAN!

2006-12-21T08:28:00.000+08:00

colleenybaby is back! for some time perhaps, but we've all been so busy.
being busy kills. i could only spend like 3 hrs with darius on monday. cos of xrays, visa-application, medical checkup, whatsoever.

tues was dance, weds was with driel, long-due chrismas shopping day. everyday from now till salvation is here, would be spent on dance, and AMAZINGLY, i didnt know i was playing for worship. so HAH. something else added to THE list of buzzing buzzing. ROBIN would be home in like 16 hours or smth. i cant count properly. but i should think so. I DONT HAVE A CAR RIDE, so i dont think i'll go ): nian, drool and all of us got the date mixed up with tmr night, robin has lousy explanation skills, :D

never mind that. nat told me to write a short testimony on how GOD has changed MY life. and i dont even have time to sit down and think. not that i have to think, but judy has like told me PREPARATION is REALLEH impt. and its quite hard to think cos i might have to share right down to the PAST details, and ppl whom i hope wont hear wad i might say, would definitely hear what i might say.

YEA. im blabbering cos being busy kills.

and colleenybaby, said this in her blog.

truly, our lives are so alone, how seperate our lives are, and how no one else will ever truly understand our thoughts, how amazingly close yet far people may be.

___________(insert short no-harm curse word here, eg. PINEAPPLE). im late for piano lesson.

DEAR LORD, I PRAY YOU'D JUST HELP ME WITH DANCE. I PRAY MY LEGS WILL FLIP TOTALLY STRAIGHT REALLY NICELY! AND EVERYTHING WILL GO WELL. :( PLEASE.

OH, GODPAH'S COMING HOME TODAY TOO. YAY :))))))))))))

2006-12-19T19:53:00.000+08:00

http://multimedia.asiaone.com.sg/2006revamp/vodcast/2006/11/16b/story.html

http://multimedia.asiaone.com.sg/2006revamp/vodcast/2006/11/18a/story.html

check this 2 doulos- related videos out (:
one clip is with sarina, the swiss girl who was on my church team(: and i did ballooon art with her! in 5 mins, i had to overcome the goosebumps i'd get! thank god i accomplished it!

another clip has jiaminzheeei's short kinda testimony. MMMHMM. really short.

ive been missing the ship alot, which is highly weird! i miss the ship's company. ):
ive never really wanted anything THIS badly before.

anyhow's i kinda hinted to mummy that i would go on the ship after i finish studying.
:D

HINT does not equate to approval but.

the future's not for us to see. anyway, logos hope would be fine too, i guess. MMHMM.

icant wait for 4 years to pass and for MYSELF to grow up and earn enough money to go on OM's ship. cant wait(:

2006-12-17T23:37:00.000+08:00

the pope wants the world to know that, HE IS COMING BACK TO SPORE.
we are estimating to receive his royalty at : 12.30am on 22nd of dec.
do dress in purple robes and hail pandan leaves or rotten pineapples whichever you prefer.

tgnubnub, his cheapthrill dong dong of a pope guard has a blog. in dairy land. how sweet. oh and im sure he is out to rule the world! with his cam hor-ing and supposed chickmagnet poses.

dong dong.

(:

2006-12-17T19:56:00.000+08:00

HELLO WORLD! (: im back! and really pleased to be back cos there are actually people who are pleased to see me! SUCHA HAPPY FEELING!

helps soothe the sadness a little.
i'll blog more and post pictures next time, when im less sad and when things work out more.

i miss godpah): godpah's in kl on business trip. i miss him alot. ):
the feeling of everything is so overwhelming.
EVERYTHING.
i think i'll miss godpa more than anything.

im not used to this.
the waves all crashing at the same time.
gramps is in hospital, and he doesnt even recognise me. HE DOESNT EVEN KNOW IM MANDAAA. ):

he tells me to go away, and that he wants to sleep cos he's really sleepy. he cant open his right eye cos its swollen. his arm is bandaged up, and he cant move his legs. he's alot thinner and he's got no more hair):

and they only called me in the evening. SIGH.

all i want for christmas is you.

2006-12-11T10:09:00.000+08:00

BACK FROM SYC!
stupid peak hours cost so much. 7 bucks to come home from church!
rushed home to apply for my visa, but something HAPPENED. so now im stuck waiting.

i feel rather at peace.
thou the commotion at home is crazy.

maybe's cos of all the alter calls. (:

ANYHOW. im gonna say WAHLAUEH.

siqs and i got 1982859394928 idiotic spots on our tights and hands and knees and calves!
VERY UGVY! not to mention ITCHY!
mummy was like grumbling that i'd fail my medical examination cos of the crazy spots; and i wld not be granted visa.
LIKEREAL.

RAHH!

sikhi, was my group leader BTW. sophhhaye, stefan, JOSHTAY, abbyjaredisabelCAMPCOMMANDANTgjy,cephiaanddavid.

the craziest was doing some LEOPARD CRAWL in some unknown field that the guys play soccer at on sundays. I WAS SUPER. negative about it. seriously. it was pointless to me. i mean if i were to work my ass of on smth for a good cause, hey, NO COMPLAINS.

but i was really frickin ticked of by having to crawl the whole length of what seemed like 1039582metres. so i guessed thats why i was whiny.
MMMHMMM. :/
anyhows, ben was really nice (: and so was likea million other people!

that was the LOW point of the whole camp. the high point was everything else. restoration of friendships, healing, tongues(: , faith, trust, hope, one body, one baptism, stargazing with quahdebwah. ( I SAW A FALLING STAR AGAIN! but this one's alot shorter than the one i saw on the ship, and it moved faster!) learning to play better- in a way. [jake,wonny,joanne,soph,] being very encouraging thou all i did was seemingly insignificant. i thank god for alot. all these wonderful mates and their terribly funny and entertaining acts. i thank god for nat too. i think its a blessing being called a dingdong. cos debsdebs is like version 2.

anyhows. other than the weird bites on my body, and BEING SUNBURNT! and bombed like mad, SYC was good. i learned alot from alot of people. im glad stefan was in my grp. he was josh's secret pal, and he bought josh a dragon fruit. i thought that was so hilarious! he's a REAL authentic humble pie! and sounds alot like driel! LIKE SOPHAYE, YOU AGREE!?

anyhow, will edit soon. AM SO SLEEPY.

God's presence was so mightily amazing yesterday night.

2006-12-07T16:56:00.000+08:00

i had the strangest conversation yesterday.

driel(WONNY) and deborah and jake and dan and i were walking. and wonny and deborah were talking bout AGAPE, about being in the same group, and so on,

then jake said : i was from dilecto (:

and i thought, " how come that sounds like my group? isnt that MY group name???"

and that was what i kindof said aloud, AND then jake and i talked about ppl in our grp like terminator, josh, selene, ETC. . we knew everybody and everythingg that happened in the grp. just the fact that WE were in the same group.

so strange huh?

SO anyway, SYC'S TMR! so exciting! (: i cant wait to see who's in my grp! :D

and i dont think im gonna get better :(
stupid timtams keep tempting me. RAHHHHH.
how to go holiday when u're sick!

2006-12-04T14:38:00.000+08:00

OK. feast your eyes on all the ULTRA adorable kids of vbc this year. :D
RAHH. LUCAS. he is so adorable lar! esp when he calls u zheeeizheei!

debdebs and i thought he was so cute! i mean, there were LOADS of cute kids, hahah. i thank GOD debs was in my group too! and i have TOTALLY no idea how our group won second placing, but we did anyhow. WHOO. IMPACT WARRIORS!

and some kids really grew up in one year! like GREW. TSK. darius has grown so much. last year, he was just this chubby cute INNOCENT quiet boy, that when u asked him anything he'll go, " i dunno, ask manda."

BUT NOW!

darius, has become so skinny!

and he brought along his tow of family. tengyaw denzel danyon, and denzel's brother.

tengyaw's the one in yellow, and denzel's the one beside him. tengyaw's like the most decent of the lot! and im amaze that he sing and dance thou darius denzel and danyon all so act cool. (: that's wad amazes me. denzel's so small, but IS so LOUD. he looks so blur everytime u take his picture. hahaha. denzel's really cute too! he always swears to god, and ask me whether i wanna bet. TSK. 9 year olds.

ok more kids. THEY were imitating smallguo and his 'touche rocks' hand sign. WHATEVER. WHATEVER GUO. then the other 3 pictures are kids from IMPACT. daryll, conelieus, JORDAN, bryan, and JON. another fast-speaking-trash-talking kid. (:the girls in my room asked people to sign their shirt, and TEOGUONIAN, signed touche rocks. like. . . *ROLLS EYES*

anyhow, check out the pastor, he looks like jackneo right!

but he says they are not related, which i still dont buy. YUPP. so that's all!

vbc was a blast. the kids were so awesome. the games could've been better, but OH WELLS. they had fun. (:

2006-11-28T13:13:00.000+08:00

OKAY. I AM BETTER THANKS TO SIR LEAN. and kutless, and GOD.

HAPPY ENTRY NOW, i went to watch the DOH show, HAPPY FEET yesterday!
its not too bad lar. the PENGUINS GOT SOUTH AFRICAN ACCENT. or some mafia whatever.
i watched it with a DOH person. :/

and then after that it was to GODPAPA'S HOUSE, where we had dinner, awesome company,
and 2 tubs of haagendaz. strawberry cheesecake and chocolate cookie.

i hope this thing turns out to be a weekly affair. I WOULD LOVE TO BUY BEN&JERRYS FOR GODPAPA NEXT WEEK.

after that was more screaming of EVERYDAY in his car, like whitechicks driving down califonia's highway 69.
`cept we didnt have the windows down and all that. (:

grace was in front and THE GODFATHER was driving. MMMMM.BTW. the 'twist' thingg is darius's SIGNATURE POST, eversince he did that kawaii video in sihanoukville, he has always been associated with that. MMMHMM, so im going off now.

its vbc tmr! (: more pictures pictures pictures.
oh and if there's ONE THING YOU MUST KNOW TODAY, SELENE IS REALLLEH SWEET. REALLLLEH.

ANYHOW, i shall leave you all with such a sweeet sweet song that keeps running in my head! here's the authetic LAO version. although there was a certain version that i really really love, some female singer sang it.

James Taylor & Carole King - You've Got A Friend

You've Got A Friend - MCFLY

2006-11-28T10:48:00.000+08:00

its this terrible terrible feeling.
i woke up this morning at 7. thou i slept at 2. its the holidays you say,
but it really feels like crap.

i was planning to GO DOWN to idp, to make payments to go to SCHOOL, but everything just doesnt click now. REALLY. i woke up to an empty house, and i thought mummy was going with me, cos we had to PAY. yae, turns out mummy had other plans, she wants to wait somemore.

make me MAKE MORE DECISIONS. i dont like this game. its stupid. i can see mschen saying that paula can read the game well. that was when we were 13. RAH. I NEED SOMEONE TO TELL ME WHICH WAY TO GO. its driving me nuts! PFFFFT*

stupid life and stupid expectations, and stupid people who make money seem so important and stupid people who look down on others, and stupid people who follow them and stupid stupid stupid UPSIDE DOWN WORLD. if only you say, IF ONLY.

Draw Me Close
Kutless

Draw me close to you
Never let me go
I lay it all down again
To hear you say that I'm your friend

Help me find a way to bring me back to you

Chorus:
You're all I want, You're all I've ever needed
You're all I want,
Help me know you are near

You are my desire
No one else will do
Cause no one else
Can take you place
To feel the warmth of Your embrace

Help me find a way to bring me back to you

Chorus:
You're all I want, You're all I've ever needed
You're all I want,
Help me know you are near

vbc- if who you are is made up of all you have, and all you have is lost, then who are you

2006-11-25T01:45:00.000+08:00

i believe and i pray with all my heart,that our LORD will take care of our beloved cgl. as colleeenybaby says, OUR GOD IS MIGHTY MIGHTY,

mightily mighty indeed.

aunty winnie has ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS believed in the power of prayer. and GOD is faithful. always and forever. and so we shall all have faith! because his ways are not our ways, and neither are his thoughts our thoughts!

it has been a week. time flies by like really fast, i wonder how come it seems to go faster as we age! so much has happened over the week. ive somehow come to a decision in my school. i pray its right. YUPP.

OH AND I'VE GOT A GODPA! and an ULTRA cool one at that! such an indie/elvis/emo-inspired crazy GODFATHER. (and robin, i supposed he has watched THAT show, the one that you love so much>) we went out with him on weds, and after driving min and yan to church for dance, he drove me back, and just as we reached my house, i slid in this integrity CD, and the man went like : " SAY EVERYDAY,"

and my GODFATHER shouted: " EVERYDAY!"

gave me a shock. -.-

YAR. he's the kinda person whom people will just SING like mad in the car with. awesome awesome stuff! RHH. with a godpa like that, you can be ABSOLUTLEY POSITIVE i wanna come back faster! i will miss godpa):

ANYHOWS, i went out with leeeenybaby, on thus. trying my luck, the sky looked SO SO PRETTY , would've been a waste staying home! so i called her, and WHOO, she was free! we went budget shopping(:

and this MAN, he was so mean! he was like, going on and on about how we should help his STUDENT, as she tried to sell PENS. (she looks our age btw) and then he asked us whether we were christians?

we said yes, and he went on and on about ps konghee and pastor prince. i think that's the only 2 pastor everybody knows, but ANYHOW, he went on to say how jesus loved and all that, JUST COS HE wanted US to buy his PEN. WHAT has that GOT TO DO WITH JESUS LOVING LAR. how can he use the name of OUR LORD to make christians feel guilty for not giving him money?? i thought that was utterly ridiculous.

he was like: " people give 10 dollars, but you all students, 4 or 6 dollars also can"

till now, i still dont get why people would pay 10dollars to that girl, for her pen. HMMM. it isnt like they are some charity organisation or some rights group that wanna end poverty!

and for the record, i seriously have no sing dollars now only US and only cambodian riel from my trip. STUPID MAN. STUPID CON MAN.

anyhow, GOD HAS BEEN SPEAKING ALOT TO ME. and that's the summary of it all, too much to put to words, just been really overwhelmed.

ray boltz- thankyou.

omg. i can cry when i hear that song. i remember hearing it on the ship, on the last night for all the cambodian volunteers. and that song , the words speak for itself. GO LISTEN IF YOU ALL CAN!

so its almost the end of november. vbc's coming up (:christmas is coming. more goodbyes up ahead too):

2006-11-20T19:17:00.000+08:00

I'm finding myself at a loss for words
And the funny thing is it's okay
The last thing I need is to be heard
But to hear what You would say

Word of God speak
Would You pour down like rain
Washing my eyes to see
Your majesty
To be still and know
That You're in this place
Please let me stay and rest
In Your holiness
Word of God speak

I'm finding myself in the midst of You
Beyond the music, beyond the noise
All that I need is to be with You
And in the quiet hear Your voice

that's all i can say.

2006-11-18T09:45:00.000+08:00

maybe not using the com for like a LONG time, makes me feel like blogging. (:
i dunnno. thankyou LORD for so many things.

when i was young, i used to wish for brothers and sisters, cos my bro always made me play by myself, i always thought of how i'd act if i had siblings. how spoilt they'd be. but very well mannered at the same time.

after doulos, i think i got the hang of wad being a sister is about.

when min and yan whine, i'll laugh to myself. cos its quite cute. (: like thru out the trip there were definitely those times. and yesterday, during jyc, yan left her bottle at one of the stations, and she went, : "mandaaa, i cant find my bottle, can you help me find it? pleassseee."

it always starts with a LONG mandaaaaa and ends with a soft pleaseeeeee?

mmmm. (:

anyhow, ive been reading passion and purity, by Elisabeth Elliot.

you know this missionary couple who were in ecuador, the husband, Jim Elliot, a modern day martyr, who was killed by the greatly feared Auca Indian tribe there, but his wife didnt hate those who killed him, and her forgiveness brought about the acceptance of the gospel.

its a really good book about how she waited, and obeyed God for 5 years, and then when she finally got to marry Jim, he died after a year.

its quite sad, but its a very encouraging book! about how God puts you in circumstances, to let you grow. i mean there was this sentence that meant so much.

how would we learn to submit to the authority of christ if we had nothing to submit?

YEP YEP. GO READ THE BOOK! it makes u think really wisely!

ANYWAYS, the highlight of yesterday was that i found out taking cab COULD be a good thing (: . i got in and told the uncle to go to bedok corner. and he asked me if i was going to church, and i was quite surprised. and he started telling me how nowadays all the young people are going to church. and i told him going to church isnt just a young people thing. - i mean, look at uncle jason, he just accepted christ not long ago! anyhow, after a long chat, the uncle told me if GOD lets him strike toto, then he'd believe in GOD. so i shared my testimony in LOUSY chinese to him. hahahah. whatever. at least i spoke chinese. :D

i told him about how i just came back from cambodia, and how the people there lived, and that money really wasnt everything. and i told him about doulos, cos doulos appeared like ONE WHOLE PAGE in the chinese papers. YEP, i didnt know how GOD would impact him, but i hope by showing him how much love we can give, he'd come to see why i believed in Jesus!

2006-11-17T11:48:00.000+08:00

yesterday, was the last day of alpha.
and darius was like, : " MANDA, you want ice cream? haagendaz."

and i proudly said NO. remind me again why i said that? somebody??

2006-11-16T09:37:00.000+08:00

mmmm(:
the week has been a blast! its been A week since i came back! AHH.

monday: i went to the ship to bring lissi, my big sister from austria out, (: then brought her to my home, step up, and had dinner on ship, FONDUE. saw alot of ppl from the ship. was HAPPY HAPPY(:

went to meet cg for dinner at esplanade at night. gluttons bay. WHEE. the food's only alright! aud was SO SO CUTE . cos nana and leeen came late, so we THEY had ALMOST done eating. aud was telling leen and nana what not to buy cos it wasnt delicious or whatsoever. YES, and she was complaining about the lousy food and she said this, that made me laugh my butt off.

" WHAT? they call this glutton's bay?! even I this kinda glutton also dont wanna eat!"

with CG (: my momojojo the wisest and sweetest KIDD on earth who whines when she craves carls jr. and that's our HAPPY BROWNIE(:

when we were done with that, all 7 of us who were left squeezed in gen's MINIcooper. MINI. it was a blast and a once in a lifetime thingg! it was so cool! and this MAN. he drove a bmw sportscar right, and he was laughing at us in GEN's MINI LAR. wad an ___. hahahahah. we almost shouted merry christmas! but then, we didnt wanna attract unwanted attention from the police!

and yesterday, min and i went to vivo, yea saw glen(: and UNCLE, and had starbucks .my ABSOLUTE FAVORITE. greeentea frappucino with LOTS of cinnamon powder on my whipp cream. YUMYUM! and then we went to the ship at like 6. our meeting time. (:

AND GUESS WHO WE SAW.

i think im growing OH SO FAT now): my cheeks are so fat. mummy says so!
anyway, the steppers were at the gangway cos they were going out. and it was the first time i talked to the guy from finland, who works in the engine room! he was so dao when we were on the ship, but just because we got the same lumix he started talking to me?!?! i tell you. only when we leave then the dao dao ppl start talking to us -.- .

and so the steppers went, and darius came(: so some people talked to junior while, min and i, talked to AUNTY. anyways, so darius drove us and junior to lau pa sat for dinner. we walked to the MERLION, where we met DWAY and lionel.

junior's the one at the bottom, and DWAY is the sarcastic fella beside me. he's so sarcastic i dont know why i even bother being nice. HAHAHA. he works in the engine room too. OKAY. so after that we drove round to see christmas lights, and had alot of laughter and screams in the car, but YEP, we made it through. then went it was just me min yan and D, in the car, darius told super cool jokes. LOL.

tonight we'll see darius again! WHEEE. got missions debrief or whatever that's called. :D

2006-11-14T13:54:00.000+08:00

MY LIFE BE LIKE OooOoAHhhhhhh.

OMG. that song is sucha hip hop song. fast, upbeat, cool, rappy. WHATEVER,
it makes me feel sad ):

i will remember I-NIGHT, because jiamin zheei danced to that song. i will rmb the chats with jiaminzheei and her being ever so nice to us.
I MISS UNCLE AND AUNTY TOO.

sometimes i think im mad, im surrounded by so many people, but i just feel lonely.
i might have one thousand and ten people i owe dates too, but i dont feel like going out. deep in my heart i know the date to drydock is running closer, and it'll be time to say good bye to douloids for EVER, till we meet in heaven. ): so, although im feeling bored and lonely, i just stay at home and bum around. wallow in whatever im wallowing in.

RAHH.

this is madness.
maybeGOD's preparing me from the greatest goodbye next time.

MY LIFE BE LIKE ________________ oOooAHHHHH.

2006-11-12T19:45:00.000+08:00

i was thinking alot. alot about missions and all.
i read jiaminzheii's blog. and i saw AUNTY, UNCLE, and HER on TV! (:
all of them looked so cute, uncle in his suit and tie(:

anyhow's i did some kinda put together of alot of the pics. during our trip.
im feeling kinda sad. because i dunno if my parents would support me if i wanted to go into the mission fields.
not even thinking THAT far. i dont even know if they would be happy to let me go on doulos for 2 years.
by the time i finish studying, it wouldnt be doulos anymore, it would be logos hope.

and then i thought about life on the ship.
WOULD I BE ABLE TO SURVIVE 2 YEARS?

none of my friends. maybe even FEW asians. this time, i absolutely ADORE everyone on the ship! ive found good friends in them. GLEN, JON, li, jiamin, UNCLE, AUNTY, WING YAN, too name a few, yea, the list does go on. but then i thought to myself, would i be able to tahan the CONSTANT goodbyes, because every preship leaves once their term is up. would i be able to survive a life like that?

i really loved the 2 weeks i spent on doulos, i think it was the most meaningful thing ive ever done with my life. it beat getting any As on any essay paper, it beat getting my first pay check, and kissing the stack of 50 dollar notes. i dont remember feeling as elated as this. i can feel myself smiling like from within! not the USUAL amandabennett smile that everybody is coming to imitate. but YEA, you get what i mean.

ive got so much love and things to blog about my missions cos SO much has happened and i have grown SO SO MUCH. but then i will think of what i have left behind and feel quite sad all over again. sometimes i wish we can all go up to heaven faster, ): i dont like saying goodbyes. i miss working with tina, i miss working with the douloids. i even miss talking to darius!

darius and i went to a village church together on our church day. i had to do some balloon drama which i learned in 15 minutes. GOD was so amazing! he can really move mountains.

darius had to preach(:

i learnt alot and thank GOD for such an awesome fake gor gor on the trip! he brought us so much laughter, when laughter was badly needed. i remember feeling TERRIBLY cranky like once on the trip, HEY, IM HUMAN TOO. (this is for those that ask me if i ever get angry) i was cranky prolly because i had very little sleep, and was really tired, the tired was the TOTALLY been sapped kind, and things around were just getting me, i was trying so hard to keep my irritance to myself, and darius could just make me smile(:

he's the only grown man who acts EXACTLY like my cuzzin, and he's the only guy that i know that ask me to act cute when im taking pictures. HAH. this was taken while we were having a drill. it was so funny, cos right after we took that picture, lionel pulled darius backwards by his lifevest and gave him a HUGE shock. it was hard for darius to see who did it,cos we were kinda restricted in our movements and vision. (the lifevest was quite big) i was so amused by his reaction that i kept laughing, and if it were me, i would've gotten mad, because it was quite a bad prank, but OMG, im amaze at his patience (:

mmmmm, sometimes we all get to a point in life, where we meet so many good people that we just get sick of saying goodbye, HUH.

sheesh. i even miss uncle jason! and mr andrew from ireland. AND just about the whole ship!
but i must add, I DO FEEL OH SO LOVED. (: mojo was like, mandaaaa you took soo long to come back!

2006-11-11T15:01:00.000+08:00

Let your Glory Fall

Father of creation
unfold your sovereign plan
Raise up a chosen generation
that will march through the land

All of creation is longing
for your unveiling of power
Would you release your anointing
oh God let this be the hour
Let your glory fall in this room

let it go forth from here to the nations
Let your fragrance rest in this place
as we gather to seek your face.

Ruler of the nations
the world has yet to see
the full release of your promise
the church in victory

Turn to us Lord and touch us
make us strong in your might
Overcome our weakness
that we could stand up and fight

Let your kingdom come
(Let your kingdom come)

let your will be done
(let your will be done)

let us see on earth
(let us see on earth)

the glory of your son

doesnt this picture just speak so much of love? i think it does. yan took it while she was on church team. church team is different from E day, cos we go out with different douloids. i was with darius, and i learnt alot. I think darius is a really cool guy. and i do miss him too(: he's like dead funny, but very wise too. when he was praying, cos he sounded so serious, i wanted to laugh, but in my church team, he was a PREACHER, so i was like tahan-ing(if there's such a word) . i will show u my church team pictures when i get them. we went to a village church that was more like a house. they had like around 10+ members, and i thank the lord for the pastor, and what he's done. BUT you guys must continue to pray for the church, and the pastor, because, the GOVERNMENT, is taking away half his land, to make way for the new airport, that means his church is going to go.

when i say land, i dont mean it as if its VERY BIG. maybe his whole land is the size of my house, and half of it means that he has to resettle the WHOLE church, and need money, and need space, SIGH. wad a sad sad thing to hear. BUT, i believe that GOD will expand the church! and make it so much bigger in terms of members and the body!

the visit to this village church, seemingly insignificant, means a WHOLE lot to me. i've learnt that alot of people think im stupid with this theory of mine, but i still stand by it. i still believe that doing things for ppl with your heart means alot. im sure those villages felt it. i felt the connection with the people, their eyes showed it all.

after being on doulos, ive learnt alot about missions, and what it means to be successful in life. i think alot of people view monetary wealth as security. i dont disagree that money is essential, i did doubt that i could get by without it, but GOD has showed me in so many ways than one that he will provide.

cos our GOD is an AWESOME GOD, and there's no denying that.

2006-11-09T22:02:00.000+08:00

im back im back im back!

im not delighted to be, but im back! i miss the ship ALOT. but as darius said, i do thank god for the opportunity to be on the ship! there's MUCH to do, and alot to feel now. im terribly sad i dont get to see my friends on the ship anytime i want to, but that's life aint it? the most horrible thing is my world keeps bobbing up and down! ITS REALLY IRRITATING! cos i didnt get sea sick at all, and now i get land sick?! it was due to the voyage i guess!

i'll put up MORE pics next time cos im running short of blogging time! (: my brother has this new com, over the time im gone, and he put some stupid password to prevent me from using the com. my mom's planning to get a wireless router or whatever that is, but i think its a waste of money! i mean, i'll be gone soon anyway!

most of the pics here are from talent night. we were really lucky cos jiaminjie said that the ship only has it like trice a year. TALENT NIGHT IS SO COOL! cos the ship has many sections and each section would really dress up! there's main street, and sections 1-5. we stayed in section 5, as guests(: section 2 was the BOYBAND section, section 4 was the YMCA guys, section 1 ,i think was the MATRIX, section 3 was the SPICE girls, main street's theme was starwars, and our section was princesses. there was also a pirates section, and everybody did dress up!

but back to life on the ship, THIS IS JONATHAN. (: he's really fun! and i miss him alot! he's a great budd and realleh wise! i like talking to him and seeking his oppinion cos they are REALLY wise! lionel and him taught me to play the guitar better! and now i can play BETTER(:his section was the matrix thinggy and that explains the outfit.

his from msia. cool huh! never tought id have a great friend from msia! (: our neighboring country! i miss jonn! RAHH.

and then there's jiaminjie, you gotta say the jie like zheei u know, the laohong way, but yea, she's really cool and fun! she's so nice, like some bestfriend you've known since forever! she has taught me so much, about missions, and just by watching how GOD has impacted her, and her life, she's truly awesome! (:

we were eating wanton mee at a market in cambodia, (: it was so cool! the market was so, ancient, the kind that u'd never find in spore, as i sat in the market, i imagined mummy scolding me like mad, about watching wad i eat. but i wanted to trust GOD, and it was the first time i ever said grace totally trusting GOD not to give me diarrhea, cos i have like a really weak stomach, and you know what?! WE DIDNT GET FOOD POISONING LAR. any way, we had to make the injections we took worth it RIGHT? (:

i still rmb waking up at like 5+ to go to the market! some people just overslept. LOL.

this is lionel, he's also from msia. looking at him, u'd never know how much GOD has worked in his life. never ever be able to see what kinda past he had, but through him, ive amazed even more at how magnificent our GOD is!

then there's GLEN! the fire man! omg, i loved the south africans and their accents! glen told me his testimony, while i was working with him and it was so so
encouraging! he's really cool, and AH. everybody on the ship has a story, one filled with GOD's perfect planned sprinkled all over it!

and there's rowand and bj! they are awesome awesome man and woman of GOD! bj is the pirate, and rowand is the dancer! he break dances, and dance really really well, FOR GOD, with a broken thumb! he has 2 bones broken in one finger i thing? i dunno what that means, but yea! i got to know all of them while working on the deck, as a deckie(:

it was really tough, but BOY, very encouraging, somethings you guys will hear me say when i share on stage, YEP. dont wanna repeat everything i say, THAT would be a bore.

working as a deckie is REALLY tough job, and i depended on GOD alot, through every department i worked in, or just GETTING through the day, you talk to GOD alot, and he was really MY source of joy, strenght and perseverance! i dont know how i stayed sane through all the slight conflicts but i did,

doulos, is greek for servant. everybody on the ship has a wonderful story, everybody has a past, everybody has a well crafted future ahead, as long as we surrender all to God, we'd be able to see that being stubbon is of NO USE! the ship has taught me far to much that words cant compare. GOD's love is as vast as the ocean, and his mercies goes beyond one's imagination. some of my friends have the most horrible past anyone would ever wanna have. drugs, gangfights, parangs, parents death, horrible desires, horrible past. but you know what, that doesnt matter because they turned back. THEY REPENTED, they accepted god as their savior. its really touching and warming knowning how deep GOD's love for his people is.

my past isnt too bright either. i do regret stuff i did before. people make mistakes. GOD forgives, we look to the future, and how we'll act in future, and not the past and degrade thyself. ALRIGHT. if u believe in jesus, u'd know clearly well how much he loved his son, that his son died for us, JESUS's BLOOD washed away all sins. and therefore, we shouldnt keep condemning ourselves. IM REALLY SORRY, but i feel very strong about this.

because the ship has taught me so much about that. the ship has taught me about grace, patience and love, and about judging others. i thank GOD for all my experiences and i stand in awe of him. i really wanted to come home and tell my mom that i wont be studying next year, and that i wanted to serve on the ship cos i would be of legal age next year. but then, i realised even more that i wasnt ready. GOD had other plans. i guessed i achieved what i set out for myself at the beggining of this trip.

i wanted to hear GOD clearly, and to wait on him, and not be impatient and head strong. ive learnt how to surrender to his plans, all for his GLORY, and one day, we'll see his face.

come ask me how my life was changed on the ship, there's alot more to this entry. or u can wait till the first sunday of dec, and 23rd dec when NATTY ask me to share for worship night. i've learnt alot about his glory, and not mine. I WANNA JUST TELL THE WORLD THAT THE LORD IS GOOD,

ALWAYS AND FOREVER

2006-10-25T18:28:00.000+08:00

the new amsterdams: hanging on for hope

YES! its 2 days till we leave!

JetStar Asia 3 K 593
Depart from Singapore at 1905 hrs ; T1
Arriving at Phnom Penh at 2000 hrs (Cambodian time)
i'll be at the airport like at 5.40.

WHEEEE! (: im excited, and this is definitely not exactly how i pictured my first mission trip. the SERVE one wasnt counted, cos it was based in spore, one pastor once said that if its based in spore, its and outreach trip, and not a mission trip.

the trip i'd always imagined, was one where there would be lots of laughter and craziness amongst my closest friends, maybe not all, but at least ONE. yess, i'll always remember SERVE06! walking to ailing's house, laughing at tin's SUPER short and tight shorts, and georgie saying the teeko will come and grab him, and making me spit my drink out cos it was so hilarious. i'll rmb the guys carrying the pails from ailing's house to sjsm, looking mad, like kampong kids! i'll rmb geri jumping on jan and mx, sitting on mx! jac and geri going mad playing hong. i'll rmb the cleaning of the toilet and the trashing out. i'll rmb the tears, and definitely all the laughter, bananas, papayas, and my chempedak juice that looked like laosai. i'll rmb the prayers and in ALL (mingyang's) seriousness. i'll rmb the lessons, and the intensity of not talking, and just being silent for the whole day. i'll rmb hello pandas, thecooleest. why? because we named ourself after our staple food, and come up with crazy reasons like oozing for love for the world, like the cream(:

okay, the wonderful past, now its to the future!

we'll be staying at Big Luck Hotel , on 419adav Preah Monivong. WHAO. BIG LUCK. :D

we're only staying there cos we'll reach cambodia too late to travel to the port. we have to get up in the morn for a 4 hour drive there. ): i bet my ass would be restless! anyway, im not gonna bring my plushies and my comfort food. cos its a MISSION trip, to me, (: where we dreess "lokkok-ly" im hoping to learn alot, and expecting to learn alot, (: SO AWAIT MY MILLION PICTURES cos i got a PRETTY NEW CAMERA! WHOOOOOOTS.

YES. and u know what!?

WE CANT WEAR SHORTS ON BOARD THE SHIP!
like what on earth am i supposed to wear lar? 0.0

2006-10-23T09:30:00.000+08:00

WE STAND AND LIFT UP OUR HANDS, FOR THE JOY OF THE LORD IS OUR STRENGHT

WE BOW DOWN AND WORSHIP HIM NOW

HOW GREAT HOW AWESOME IS HE

TOGETHER WE SING

HOLY IS THE LORD GOD ALMIGHTY

THE EARTH IS FILLED WITH HIS GLORY

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GERIBEAN!(:- we have to go celebrate soon!

i went to watch my first m18 show! LOL. thou geri's the one that turns eighteen today!
WAD A SHOW! SO VULGAR and BLOODY. the departed. but it was a cool show, i mean, thinking back, it had a good plot. mmmm.
mark wahlberg, ok im glad he was in the movie, watched him on E entertainment before. i was hoping he'd come and save the day, but - well, u'll see.
anyway, jestyn once said you'd always remember your first nc16/m18 show. so maybe maybe.

- i still havent started packing my bags for friday yet.

It's rising up all around

It's the anthem of the Lord's renown

2006-10-18T23:19:00.000+08:00

THIS CANT DO): ive been eating icecream almost EVERYDAY, its my absolute favorite food in the world, but this cant do!

last fri: haagen dazs with ka waffles syrup and all that included!
sat: starbucks
sun: BENANDJERRYS! dublinnmudslideee!
mon: haagendazs and hershey chocolates
tues: sinfully thick glob of hot melted chocolate on homemade waffles!
wed: strawberry choclatechip blizzard from dairybell or smth? i cant rmb the name, nana made me buy it cos it could stay in the cup upside down. well she tempted me more like it.

this cant do! i had the chocolate crave after not eating it for 2 weeks or more, i think im mad, i get this weird cravings. ):
someone said i might sink the doulos-.-

anyway anyway, went out with nana today, but before that, went to the beauty spa place that my mom goes to for all her pretty beautifying stuff. i did some packaged thingg my mom bought for me(: it was such a pampering experience! the staff there are so nice! and it was a really relaxing soothing and calm place. it smelled really nice too! reminded me of going for massages and spa in thailand, ARRRRHh. the life! i was hoping to go bali or some clubmed with nana, but i guess it didnt work out in the end. it would be a sucha cool thingg to do!

anyhow, the woman was late for an hour and a half! cant stand it. i dunno how she did it, but well, she paid for my movie, because she said she was sorry. (: you me and dupree.

it wasnt a bad show(: it was funny. DUN ASK ME WHY but, my eyes cant see all those censored stuff! like eventhough the film wasnt censored, when everyone was laughing, i just couldnt see what they were laughing at! THANKGOD, for holy eyes eh(:

anyway, on mon, was the first time i felt my stomach actually go funny. like all twisted and EXACTLY what i wrote in my essays during sec sch. and i felt the sickening thud in my gut. stuff that someday, we will know.

2006-10-15T17:05:00.000+08:00

after being mad for a day, i shall be serious.

and i wanna say that GOD is GOOD.
always, and forever.

because he has shown me how trusting in him no matter how bad things are, is all worth it.
and i love my cg alot! because, today, after we ended class, I DONT KNOW WHY, but graciepoo kept insisting that i should tell them about financial stuff and what not bout the doulos trip.

I KNOW graciepoo knew that i was worrying alot, but i didnt tell her specifically that im actually worried about money. and how i'll be squeezing my mom dry from now onwards. too add to my worries, i cant find a job. and to make matters WORST, i have so little time for jobs. because im leaving for cambodia in 2 weeks, and then there'll be jyc, vbc, syc, and yea, then i'll fly of again, then when i come back it'll be preparation for CHRISTMAS.

oh wells, i must add that, mojo really really touches me from the bottom of my heart and i love her like mad, and im glad that god has placed her in my life. i was so surprised when she CAME for syc last year, and i am overwhelmed by her love for her friends! joanna li. (: i know she'll never ever read my blog, but i still LOVE YAR! you know my deepest thoughts and that im worrying even thought i can bluff like a million others! u're crazyily good! and smart!

anyhow, when i go on doulos, i'll be bringing all of you in my hearts! i'll bring colleennybaby's servanthood, huimin's smile, daffy's- GREATEST FRIEND spirit, mojo's listening ear, and penetrating eyes that seem to know everyone's desire. aud's joy, abby's sweetness, jingyu's presence and the way she ask questions. and lastly, i'll bring everything for nana, i'll write all my experience, and i'll pray for everyone who cant come with me, as mojo says, those that can go, go. those that can give time, give time. those that can give money, give money, those that can give prayers, give prayers. so i know, im NOT ALONE, i've got all these wonderful people with me(:

and there's joshuatay too hahaha, he keeps telling me how excited he is for me(: and jj's astroboy shirt brightened my day! and natty! you rock:) and veeeny! im glad u're back!

edit/ oh although i didnt write before, im actually bringing more people than this blog can fill. BUT i dont wanna seem LUOSUO, and make this super long and draggy, so you who are so important in my life, reading my blog, (HAHA) i'll bring you too, in a way. (:

and if you guys must know, after easter camp, smallguo and SOME OTHERS, inofficially made up a camp theme song, and said it should be _____ that song we have to keep singing during the mass. and he said this time my doulos theme song should be row row row your boat. and i've found more out more than ONCE , why GOD made pans. like those frying pans, yea.

2006-10-14T22:15:00.000+08:00

HELLO WORLD! (:
and that's too all who read my blog and dont tagg and make me stare funnily at you when you suddenly know things ive never told you! (:

mmmmmmmmm.
i had fun, went out with mummy for the first part of the day, and then ying at night.
stupid kiatty woke up at 7 pm, when we were meeting then. who wakes up at that time lar!
I WANNA SEE HIS REBONDED HAIR. omg.omg.

anyway. ying asked if i had a boyfriend,
so feast your eyes on my handsome mama!

mmmm, HAHAHAHA. havent been this mad about anybody, since, FOREVER.
he doesnt look drop dead gorgeous on first appearance, but his character's really sweet and ----- (:
i dont know what to say already. his just everything. and more!

ying says im mad. OH RIGHT, compare me to her, she has this weird fetish for dead man.

1. kurt cobain

2. river phoenix

absolutely hot, or so she says. ANYWAY. SHIN, sucha cool name! too bad that's just his name in that show. his real name's joo-ji-hoon. never mind that!

:D
ying, at least you think he looks good from the side.

2006-10-13T13:14:00.000+08:00

this would be some random entry cos im dead bored at home. :/
because ive fallen sick. SIAN. i dont even know how people fall sick doing nothing.

edit/

I JUST GOT MY THYPHOID JAB. -shudders-
gives u the hibbiejibbies!
the way uncle kevin splurted the injection needle,
reminded me of some scene i saw on tveee.
then he keep telling me to relax, THEN i tried to act brave.
and THEN the needle went in.

AND I REMEMBERED how WATSON, the science umm, top scholar, DIDNT relax, and the needle broke like trice. when we were in primary SIX.

so i told myself to relax! and then it went okay :D

im going for my HEPATITIS JAB tmr): i think.
good think i've done my tetanous jab, i dont know when,

BUT I DONT LIKE INJECTIONS!

2006-10-10T11:12:00.000+08:00

you don't know how you met me
you don't know why
you can't turn around and say goodbye
all you know is when I'm with you
i make you free
and swim through your veins like a fish in
the sea
i'm singin'

Follow me everything is alright
I'll be the one to tuck you in at night
And if you
Want to leave I can guarantee
You won't find nobody else like me

I'm not worried bout the ring you wear
Cuz as long as no one knows than nobody
can care
You're feelin' guilty and I'm well aware
But you don't look ashamed and baby
I'm not scared
I'm singin'

won't give you money
i can't give you the sky
your better off if you don't ask why
i'm not the reason that you go astray and
we'll be all right if you don't ask me stay

you don't know how you met me
you don't know why
you can't turn around and say goodbye
all you know is when I'm with you
i make you free
and swim through your veins like a fish in
the sea
i'm singin'

UNCLE KRAKER!(: my happypill, hahahahah
such a cool laid back song! mmmmmm.
anyway, watching oprah on starworld is basically what i do if i get up by 9.

AND, i just wanna say coffee is good for you all okay!
coffee is good stuff! it reduces liver cancer(:
HELLO STARBUCKS.

2006-10-09T14:43:00.000+08:00

PFFFFFT.

i'll say that once and a million times over,
PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!

2006-10-04T00:04:00.000+08:00

to YOU, YOU and YOU, AND YOU! i know you guys are driven nuts by promos, and your projects and all that, so JIAYOH,(: althou out of my whole list of yous, maybe only abby will read my blog? hahah! anyhow, i love our cg, and i'll keep ALL of you in my prayers(:

2006-10-01T18:10:00.000+08:00

so im blur luh right. that's what almost everybody says luhh huh.

BUT. i can still laugh at ppl sometimes! and its really hilarious!

like my FRIEND , mr so-not-geek-but-oh-so- funky, (: he's like REALLY smart, or maybe not, but doesnt really matter.
he didnt know that NEL-trains had no drivers. TSK TSK. and he insisted that the NEL-trains had drivers!

okay, then there's NATTY. he keeps calling me dingbatz. LIKE what ever okay! (told u its the 21 year old thingg) so he shortens it to BATZ half the time, or just dings. yar yar.

me: WHY DO YOU KEEP CALLING ME BATZ! its not as if im BLIND you know.
NATTY: bats are blind meh?

SEE SEE SEE.

AIYO!
i can triumph over, my friends!

OKAY, i shall go off for my ba kut teh dinner! and savour my victory!

but on a side note; today's worship was overwhelming.
mmmmmm. ive never heard fl so loud and crying out for GOD before.

our GOD is an AWESOME GOD, he reigns from heaven above
with WISDOM , POWER and LOVE,
our GOD is an awesome God

and he brings me to my knees, brings me to my knees amen!
i will miss bmc. truly truly, but i'll come back some day right?

why doesnt anyone see that??

2006-09-30T15:55:00.000+08:00

colleenybaby, u said i gave you hope, with what i told you.
but sometimes i try real hard to believe what i say too.
quite frankly, i dont think IT exists. maybe probably.
some day. someday we'll know.

you all should get this song, a place called grace, by philip craig&dean.
the wisest person to me, sent me this song, just when i was feeling so utterly hopeless, let me just tell you what he said. in his blog(he's got a blog!)

The song begins with a verse about the prodigal son, as he reaches the point of desperation and cries out to God to let him come home. A song which inspired me. how many times have i turned away? how many times have i run on my own strength? how many times have i disobeyed? how many times have i felt down and disappointed in the Lord? how many times have i been persecuted? Yet there is still a place called home (grace). We are saved by grace through faith, not works: "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith--and this not from youselves, it is the gift of God--not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do " (Eph. 2:8,9).

" For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. It teaches us to say 'No' to ungodliness and worldly passions and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age, while we wait for the blessed hope--the glorious appearing of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, who gave himeslf for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for himself a people that are his very own, eager to do what is good. These, then, are the things you should teach. Encourage and rebuke with all authority. Do not let anyone despise you " (Titus 2:11-15). "

A Placed Called Grace - Philip Craig & Dean

so many years I heard it told... the story of compassion

a prodigal son who left the fold, but found no satisfaction

on my knees, Lord, I cried out to you, I'm so alone

but if there's room in your house for one more

i'm ready to come back home

i know there is a place where arms of compassion welcome me home

sweet mercy falls like rain... I know there is a place called grace

so many days I've trusted grace, yet I have to wonder

how many times my human strength has kept me from surrender

the more I learn just to lean on the cross, the more I see

when I fall, I will fall to the place where mercy reaches me... reaches me

i know there is a place where arms of compassion welcome me home

sweet mercy falls like rain... I know there is a place called grace

if it seems that my courage is strong... There's just one reason

he's my rock when my faith is all gone

he holds me in his arms give me strength to carry on

i know there is a place where arms of compassion welcome me home

sweet mercy falls like rain... I know there is a place called grace

there are only 2 wise persons in my entire life whom God has so graciously sent for me to know them personally. one's mingyang, the future pastor, and jestyn, the future youth pastor. (: i think j's the wisest, but he says he's not. if he's not, i dunnknow who is.

anyhow, i've been feeling really stress pissed, and so out of this world. and this song really takes me to a different place. it calms my nerves, and brings me to my knees. alot of tiringsadangryfragile matters have been running through my head. but it doesnt really matter. yes, they dont.

I know there is a place where arms of compassion welcome me home
Sweet mercy falls like rain... I know there is a place called grace

He's my rock when my faith is all gone
He holds me in his arms give me strength to carry on

2006-09-30T11:13:00.000+08:00

yuyu! you're the last person on earth id ever forget lar! omgggg. REALLY. even est's birthday entry i already write ur birthday, SCROLL DOWN PLEASE.

i just lived the life of a hugepotatoe, and the days just went by faster than i expected.

OH MANOH MAN.

i spent 10 years celebrating ur birthday!mmm will never forget!
i wanted to upload the primary one photo, but the stupid blogger cant upload it,

i think its NOT COLORED that's why. i dunnoooo.

okokok,

will you forgive me! PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
i know i know! u gonna give me this face! mmmmmm. ):

anywayanyway,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY YUSHUBURGER!ookokokokok. if u still wanna date me, then tell me, if u want i will try my best to go find umm MINGDAO(*shivers) for you! otherwise, u can do anything u want, kick my butt. call me an ass -.- YES. i know its the first thing u'll call me :) i cant upload pictures from before the year 2000. maybe its from a different millennium thats why!

1.arts night! (rmb ur eye?:D ) and our ROCKING green sweaters! and look at that CHAO ugggy specs, cos i think u helped in breaking the nicer one!(: hahaha, and you blocked me! and SPONGEBOB! he's so uber fat plus cute! he's my fav! thank god for you eating onion rings, then feel like puking, then .. he became mine! (:

anyhow, CALL ME OKAY. :D

2006-09-26T12:22:00.000+08:00

(: about saturday!

ROBIN, do u know that we all got to watch singapore dreaming, umm, ( for free) YESS! and you know why too! althou we already planned to watch the show, God was so kind!(:

mmmmmm.
so we, small guo dan and i went to watch spore dreaming, all the jc ppl wanted to mugg for promos, so YEP, they didnt go. it was quite entertaining(: i laughed real hard when that skinny old men played the symbols for the funeral walk. he looked so happy being an extra, clanging his symbols!

oh wells! after that, self proclaimed SWIFTand SPEEDY nian wanted to eat, cos he was (TERRIBLY) hungry. AND, we took almost an hour or less ASKING him to decide what to eat! LOUSY BOY! not the first time he's so SLOW! what ever , he ended up eating JUST takopachi!

never mind that. we went to dan's house to kill time and get his cam, and after, when back to airport, where jj COLLEEEEEEEN jansen, were mugging. mmm. i think we someone spoilt jj's peace.

im not sure whther u can see smallguo's happy face(: but it was so condratictory to jj's (: hahahahah! just click on the picture will do, it'll magnify itself.

and then we had loads of fun playing around(:

and while we were waiting for ant, there was this ming xing! and sikhi was like: i think he's the actor! and i was like OH YEA, so sikhi gave this wise idea of pretending to take picture but we were actually trying to get his face(: and we didnt know what dan was doing so we were laughing and talking nonsence among ourselves, but the shots turned out alright! and it was pretty clear! althou we look pretty weird but it was fun! and you can actually see the way the actor moved! and he was beaming! smiling for our camera! (not)

graciepoo said she had no idea who he was, and lots of ppl dont really know him too! i wonder why! so i said i really liked him when i was in primary 2, he acted in this drama and suddenly jingyu was like METOO! seeee, at least he's famous to us(:

oh well's the classic picture(: i mean, like out of all the fl and yammers, only 2 people wore this shirt! so cool huh! and all of us, fishcolleenjansendansmallguo and i were like planning how to make them snap a picture together!

we had 3 plans, but they all seemed like they would fail, and suddenly grace was like

you all wanna take pictures just take...

wasted our time planning, tsk tsk.

2006-09-24T20:51:00.000+08:00

i will update again about my SATURDAY! i promise, about everything that's happened, cos my bestfriend has left singaporeee):
ant said buhbye and happy birthday in advance! ):
ive got a billion photos with danielle(korkor) ! yupp and everyone can see the blast we had!

anyway, when ant was leaving,(to walk into the glass gates,) i suddenly rmb robin leaving, the kindof feeling u'd have when your church friend leaves. mmm.

im so scared of everyone leaving, and everything changing!
myself included!
SIGH.

today after church, we went to BC. smallguo sophayy driel deb dan, YAR, so i had this SUPER exasperating afternoon of lunch,
cos u know, with GUO and i, its like battle of sentences overpowering NON-stop.
PLUS DRIEL. he's like forever making me feel dumb! with his super smart talk!
with BOTH together! its like having el nino!

anyway anyway, SO, like when I was done with lunch, these two kids came running behind guo, and squat down,
so I was curious to see what they were looking at! and there was a FRICKIN CAT!
so idotic lar! what on earth was that doofus doing near me!

ANYHOW, i still rmb reuben making the STRAY and disgusting cat come under my chair after camp last year. SO PISSED off with him!
and then i was scared CAN!

i hate cats. hate dislike. eeee. cats are disgusting lar. im warning you all, DONT ever bring a cat near me(: then u'll see me happy forever! (:

yar, just the thought of them near me drives me nuts! yar. (so im sorry wonny OKAY! i just cant help it! and you didnt even say bye before you leave!)
and today, for like maybe 1 min, i actually saw small guo being ultra nice lar. too bad. i have no idea wad cause the immediate reversal.

2006-09-20T18:58:00.000+08:00

let those who have ears let him hear, and let those who have eyes, let him see

i think that's my answer to people who think that we're foolishly and blindly following GOD.
i was wondering how to prove our point, and that GOD IS REAL.

and God answered: " those who have eyes let him see, and those who have ears, let him hear."
they CAN see how God has worked in our lives, the awe and never ending love we have for him.

mmmmmmm,

eph 2: 8 says that we are saved by grace THROUGH faith.

this verse has never been clearer. i just realised that it is written so clearly, WE BELIEVE, that we chose to believe, and by faith, we have been saved by his grace. all the what ifs and what ifs not,

if you trust him and love him, and just PUT YOUR FAITH in him, like how you'd put your faith in concealer to hide your pimples, then GOD will reveal himself to you in MANY ways. the miracles and wonders he can do, and how you can hide and rest in his mighty hands - just like concealer!

and then, you'd stop worrying about whether God really exists, cos he'll show you in ways so amazing, that he loves you. mmmmmmmm.

2006-09-19T23:40:00.000+08:00

i dont think estootbehllauku wld ever read this blog ,
but i really planned to have teppanyaki with her and ka and cj, during my STUDY BREAK!
who'd knew id feel guilty and stay home all exam period!
in case i dont blogg in time,
HAPPYSEVENTEEN DEARESTSISTA. (: we ROCK cos ka is a huge pok. if ka's not a pok then maybe we'll back to differ, but anyhow's. HAPPYBIRTHDAY. YAY! someone else still have to wait till the 29th. SO SIAN RIGHT!?

anyway's, with anthony leaving soon, colleen, nian,ant and i went for dinner at ichiban boshi.
so we cld pass him the gift.

before that, i went to THE BETTER TOY STORE, to look for gifts/presents.
oh man, i felt so mightly delighted. I DONT KNOW WHY.
and i was REALLY REALLY REALLY shopping for nana's present, (22nd sept!)
but i ended up buying myself really cute plushies!(: ( CHENGWANLI. THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT! AND YOU KNOW WHY!)

yea! it was so cute, even smallguo, colleen, dan, and maybe ant agreed!
yesss, so you guys should buy stuff from , THE BETTER TOY STORE!
i dont know why all my friends' birthdays are in sept. ive got 4 one after another. VEENY'S LAST. (:

yay. anyway, dinner was great,
company was great,
food was great,
ri power was present,

yea.

THINK OF PRESENTS! christmas is coming soon!

2006-09-11T13:57:00.000+08:00

the epitome of idiot

1. when u're waiting for your yong tau foo to come, your group of friends start talking. the lady comes with the yong tau foo, and she's kinda irked cos its been a busy day, the tray is heavy and hot, and people are blocking her path. (in a sense) so she goes, ' hello hello!' in the typical rude singaporean marketplace way.

and this odd pot looks up, beams,waves at her and says HELLO HELLO! (:

(the lady glares at him)

2. he plugs on this weird silver ear plugs that look really weird on him, turns up the mp3 player and starts laughing amusingly at his friends' conversation, though there was nothing funny about what they were saying. his eyes sparkled with enthusiasm, and he bobbed with joy in his seat!

they all turned and stared at him funnily, and he motions and mouths to them to continue.

(he was having a blast watching their muted conversation. right.)

3. when he walks into starbucks, his friend tells him that he knows the starbucks guy, so he can ask for any kind of drink and the starbucks guy will make it. really cool stuff. so his friend ordered some rocking orea cookie-vanilla blended drink.

when it came to the smaller boys turned...

he proudly asked the aunty for tao huay jui. (water in hokkien.) for the love of mankind! who enters starbucks and ask for TAO HUAY JUI. the aunty gave him some mudd- looking drink, black in colored that had the after taste of soyabean milk. yum yum.

4. he happily asks his friends 1=5
2= 25
3= 125
4= 625
5= ?

(ask me for the ans. u'll want to do 5. too)

5. he makes people who want world peace want to stone him.

i have 5 more papers to go! I SMELL FREEDOM. ahhhhhh. (:
frickin excited! cant wait to leave THIS sch!

2006-09-07T18:46:00.000+08:00

what a wonderful world-

mmhmmmmmmm.
this study break. so - not very productive.
i just came home from running, and i promised God to study like mad,
YES. i still have 3 days for chem ): rahhh. i love chem! but why must it be the first paper!

on tues, spent the day doing stupid assignments, at night, had dinner with aud, graciepoo, MOJO, and daffy!
it was a time well spent!
i had loads and loads and loads and loads of fun! (:

then yest, andrew asked me whether i wanted to study at NUS.
i didnt mind! so small guo came too!
and well, andrew was late as usual!

anyhow, i had a blast with the odd small guo being super hilarious!
and like when we were going to buy andrew breakfast, he drew us this lousy map of how to get to the canteen.

it was really funny cos small guo and i got lost!
with a louya map.
small guo also said i was a lousy map reader when he was holding the map all the while!
HOW IRONIC.

anyhow, we got to meet the other nus yammers (cos small guo and i were the only fl ppl not counting cgs)
and after all the studying, i reached home in time to watch my samsoon!

thanks for babysitting us androeeey! and for the car ride, and for your notes! and for everything! from the sappyness of drool, to m2m, to disney magics!
this is a formal note to you,

dear androoey,
im sorry we did that too your bear. couldnt resist not doing anything to YOUR cat high bear, i mean, your bear gets stripped everyother car ride, so its like customary. and small guo and i were talking about it outwardly in the car, and you didnt even realise! we dont know why! but this time, the idea was mainly mine, SORRY.

(:

2006-09-05T09:57:00.000+08:00

the crocodile hunter has died ):
isnt it sad! feels so unreal!
i remember watching nicklodean's kid's choice award a few years back,
and they like showed him with his daughter,
he was a really cool and sweet dad!

what will happen to his daughter? ):

aint she THE beauty?

ps: i love you daddy! (although you have ABSOLUTELY no idea what a blog is)

2006-09-03T18:33:00.000+08:00

so i heaved a bigg sigh of relief-

the school terms are officially over! no more lectures!
i still have 3 assignments due, but THAT'S ALL.
it's the study beak now, i thought i would feel happier since the days are inching closer to the final exams,
i think im stressed, and i dont like seeing people streesed.
they get this weird look, like they're super pissed.

-
i just dont like that look .
YES.

so much things to worry about.
rahhh.
drives you mad sometimes.

i only started feeling stressed after that mugger toad daffy laughed at my sleeping time.
TSK.
its not my fault i cant sleep at 3am everyday what ):

apparently ivan got so engrossed when i said i used to sleep at 10 when i was in secondary sch- that he missed the exit!
and ended up in pasirris.
that was funny (:
i seriously have no idea what's up with sleeping at TEN, everybody's like so shock by THAT!

ANYWAY,
yea, we were driving home from marina

smallguo, colleen, daffy, ivan, graciepoo, and korkor poo and i went to watch devil wears prada.
it was a good show!(:
the clothes so NICE, sighhhh.

2006-08-30T21:53:00.000+08:00

ri boys. (hahaha in jj's tone. sense the sarcasm)

hahaha. small guo wanted me to send him all the pics. i couldnt tahan this picture. too hilarious. and you might wonder what they were doing. and im glad colleenn captured it (:

small guo! you hipp but still extremely extremely odd ball. hahaha. thanks for making me laugh always(: with your weirdness. you make people roll our eyes alot! maybe you'll grow up to be ALOT like robin, who knows whether that's a good thing, judging from the picture :D

again;

2006-08-23T09:46:00.000+08:00

the bible tells us to cast all our cares on him; because he cares for us.
this is more than a promise, its a command.
so be at rest; because today, God is working in ways, that you cannot see.
he never sleeps, he NEVER slumbers.
he never tires of hearing our prayers.
when we are weak, he becomes stronger.

oh really really really?
where do you find hope , where do you get peace
why's the sky darker than ever, why does God seem so far away.
why am i terribly demoralised;
so much for faith hope joy peace love patience.
somebody's gotta stop me from thinking bout horrid ideas):

habakkuk 3:17-18
Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls,
yet I will rejoice in the LORD,

the lousypoo sch

2006-08-21T22:44:00.000+08:00

i feel so guilty lar.

estoot msged me last night, this was how her msg went,

"cass and i meeting for dinner tmr at raffles, PLEASE SAY YOU'D COME!"
"okay 6 then! sorry i know you're super busy. thanks for taking the time of babe!cant wait to see you you freak! HOHO"

i felt so sad when i read it! like i havent spend enough time with everyone! ):
i mean, sch's a killer with assignments and catching up with EVERYTHING, but i TRY to make time for everyone!
i thought we were all used to the- no-time for each other thing-

I THOUGHT; i never knew i missed you guys so much.
i mean, ARG. ESTHERBEH. ARGH. you freak. ive known you since terrapins ruled this land!
she's the one that caused all this moo moo madness, the cows, and me being related to buddha.
yea.

ARG, YUYU. ARGGGGH.

i feel so so uber sad lar. gm's netball is gonna close. or close ready. WHICHEVER.

WHATEVER. make space for volley ball girls. WHATEVER.
this is crapp lar. gm is gonna be a crapp sch by the time we reach 25.
makes it seem all we ever worked for's like going to waste!
all misschen/ miss wee trained us for, like gone to waste?!
all the sun/laughter/ sweat/ blood/ injuries/ TEARS/ teamspirit.

i still rmb that misschen's the bestest coach ever! how she smiled ever so proudly when we did her proud by winning all those medals,
i feel so proud of our team, our achievments,
i still remember ms wee and ms chenbelieving in us,
TRAINING US UNTIL WE ALMOST DIED.
from 30 over girls in the beginning of sec 1, to 9 , till eventually just 7. just nice for a team, without any reserves.
and ms wee pushing me until i cried!

now, we've comed this far.
estoot's uncle bob's SA CAPTAIN. mister bob asked her to join extreme.
im so proud of her. so so so proud.

ARG. yuyu, YUYUYUYUYUYUYUYUYUYUYU. so sad lar. ):

i think the only proudest thing in my whole entire life is joining netball, netball gave me my bestest friends in sch, yuyu and est (and ka you sickening headprefect.but u didnt join netball so notcounted). seeyun.lifeng (the chinafied sampat who changed my name to peanut and bernerd.) quack quack the yallow yallow orang orang. SEEYUN. the super caring one! and PAULA. YES I MISS PAULA TOO.

yu, est, ka- thanks for being there always always always, when results were shit, u were there, when teo was poo, you guys were there. when all else was down/ wrong, you all were there. for the street netball, for the burps, the screams, for all the fun in the sun, for the stealing of my food, for the forcing me to eat!(esp yuyu). YUSHU, u know i'll never forget you right? all the pe sessions, the hockey games, the soccer, the crazy crazy street netball. the volleyball, the frisbeee! my partner, RAHH. im feeling emo. hahahahah.
so much things to tell you guys lar. feels like i got not enough time! (as if im dying)
with all you spastic people having chinese As after promos, and yushu GOT new friends):
beeeg click with 4 people (hahahaha ur words always ULTRA funny)

DATE ME YOU GUYS. im free after 25sept. as free as the birds in the sky that only know how to pungsai. YAR.

dont say i never tell you im free.
IM FREEEEEEE. okay yuyu. OKAY KA. i know u read my blog u stalker.

(:

i loveyou all, im gonna be a guai kia and mugg now! CHEM CHEM CHEM! yay(:

sweeeet

2006-08-17T20:28:00.000+08:00

i changed my template; in honour of this girl called
khariah.
as in chiral carbons; yea. somewhere along that line of pronounciation. i call her kaya thou.
and she's awesome. i've barely known her for very long, but she's taught me so much about patience, and as grace said, the real value of frienship.
unselfish giving.

im sure even if i go to mars and come back down, all weird and toxicated, she'll still be the sweettest sweetest little pie on earth.

THANKYOU FOR CHEERING ME UP, DAY AFTER DAY, nono; MINUTES AFTER MINUETS.

thankyoufor everything ! EVERYTHING.

im glad i met you.
you and hairin, we 3 together; yea.
you're the only thing that i LOVE about our sch. (:

so after today, i thank GOD for the strength he provided for us to get by this day.

i thank god for the song ' i surrender'. so so so meaningful.

OH and i have like more toothbrushes in my house, cos those who stayed over, left their toothbrushes here! (:
small guo, colleeen, nana, - dan(came at 3!)

P.S what a lovely shirt! (mine) thanks for the wonderful comments! i will rememberrrr.

seventeenth august

2006-08-17T14:21:00.000+08:00

have you read robin's blog? it feels so sad, the last line of it all. like its stamp with finality, and the confirmation that robin's really gone. seems so quiet. im not used to YOU being serious! you're always being a monkey, monkeying me. yes .even like your last hour in changi aiport also gotta say i stink!

anthony was saying this morn, after sending robin off, at breakfast. at how everyone would HAVE to move on, and when you come back, the world wouldnt quite ever be the same again. anthony said how much it would really hurt to see your friends go, but then, ..... ):

i dont really know these things. just that i know friendships really need effort to keep them going.

honestly, ive never really had anyone i was quite close to, who left for better seas. even amanda (yong) , i never really knew her well, cos when our cg was getting close, she left. she left the day i was going to spain. i still rmb i really wanted to see her off but my mom was ULTRA pissed. saying i dont appreciate my family and all, and only cared bout my friends.

its true i used to hate staying at home. i've never loved staying at home and doing nothing, unless i had gone out EVERY SINGLE day till night-fell for 2 consecutive weeks or so, then yea, i'll stay at home for one week, to watch my korean dramas. or just teevee. and i never understood how people could ever ever feel homesick from camps. or just being apart from home. they cry when they leave their house for days. i cry when i leave the camp, cos i have to go home. i bet i spend at least a month away every year at all the sch camps. and what not.

i still rmb. after ONE CAMP, although i was so sick from staying up the whole night, i planned to meet my grp mates after we broke camp and have gone home to put down our stuff. and then after like midnight, go for netball chalet where i'll have to 'taunt' another night. (: but i didnt, in the end, cos i had fever, and my mom ranted, and my camp mates (as usual) were all konked out.

ANYWAY, reading his blog and thinking alot, has made me realised that leaving spore isnt as easy or peasy as ive ever imagined. even if i were to apply and get to australia, i'll really die. i mean, i'll miss my mom. i love my mom. she's suffered like mad for me! ive been such-an awful princessy daughter that even if my friends come with weird requests, she's all prepared for anything. just like last night, when everybody (not just ONE body) came at weird timings, my mom still entertained them, when she had to get up at 5, to slought her guts out.

you know, ive never ever ironed the clothes for her, wash or hung the clothes for her. never washed the WHOLE family's dishes, ive never made my own bed, like really, pull on the covers. when i had my midterms, my mom fell on her hand, and tore her right ligament and cracked her elbow. i was so stressed with sch, was so irritating, and she still loved me, and cleaned the whole house with her injured hand.

i used to laugh at the way nana's so whiny with her mother, at how much she cant live without her mom, i never knew it was the same for me too. ARGH. i love my family lar. its a shame it took me 17 years and 6 mths to actually realised that thou its crystal clear!

wad's gotten me so emo and everything, was when nana was like, " manda i'll cry if u're going."

my nana. ive kinda taken our friendship as per norm. like i'll really really miss her. she's my best friend, she was my best friend, IS my best friend. no matter how much we've changed and how much we've grown apart, i still love her, and when the world and everything else falls apart, i'll still see ourselves when we were like younger.

SIGH. and then there's everyother friend that matter so much, so significantly. collleeen the beenqueen for one, daniellle lambera, and the list goes on and on and on. to those i really matter to, and those that really matter to me. (yuyu esthootbehhlakku. SO ON,)

as daddy says, he doesnt know how i'll do my own laundry, who'll wake me up, cos its just really tough waking me up (the bed must be REALLY COMFY THOU) yea. daddy says i'll prolly starve and save all my money, to go __________. hahahahahah.

i dunno lar. but it's more or less planned this way. wait till october. i pray God takes care of every thing. cos i have no idea what i want. or wad's best for me.
i guess God places things in your way for many reasons. bountiful, countless, amazing, god-planned.

friends forever ; if you believe in ever, then make ever ever, cos if you never ever,
then i'll friendship wont be FORever.

gotit?

4 more weeks to endterms, 12 days to piano exam.
someone just shoot me please>

2006-08-15T08:37:00.000+08:00

i feel like such a contradicting idiot.
my essay is to prove god doesnt exist, and evolution did.

10% of final terms.
argh.

artyfarrty day

2006-08-13T21:36:00.000+08:00

i shall post in colors.
after all, life should be all about colors, aint it?

some how, life has been knocking weirdly in lots of people's faces.
you make many new friends, the old ones fade out.

the idiotic and total jerk way of saying it, you loose some you gain some.

i dont like loosing my most impt friends. but lately, i feel like we're drifting away all over again! we once made prayed about it, but you're like loosing your trust and getting all weird again!
that goes for pot's bestfriend too ):
sigh. sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh.

what can we do, what can we pray.
to make everything horrible just fade away-

COLLEENTHEBEEN QUEEN came to my house today!
we have pics but its in my other com, so lazy to go retrieve it, maybe some other day, i shall post it.
it was really fun making thebishop/pope/whichever-you'd-prefer's gift, but really really saddening too.
when we wrote the words, it just suddenly dawn on me, that the days will be passing ever so quickly.

arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrh.

sian. the been queen's staying over on wed, so that we' can go to the airport in the MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT.

tsk, i better finish my assignments by today or tmr, before i have no mood at all.

MCB teacher's gonna give a 4 chpt test on sat. WHO GOES TO SCH ON SAT LA!
im gonna go do my assignment ; for those who believe in evolution, and all that crapp.

random recalls

2006-08-11T17:27:00.000+08:00

well, its been a crazy week.
im beggining to not understand chem.
its getting far to crazy. ):

RAHHH.

anyway, went for fop on sun. i was battling with myself whether to go for it or study physio!
but i really wanna go, not because of ANY band, but DON MOEN. like there's many things i live for, and there's weird things im happy i did at least once in my life. LIKE, donating to that aunty with the green bag at tampines station, thou she looks like she still can do light work. she's there almost everyday.

so anyway, went with small guo. who's the ODDEST cheap thrill dong dong on earth (: and i say that with pride! yea, dan/na/jj/edlyn/tim. don moen was really good LAR!

he's voice is like ------. and his gifts are like -----. and he's just unbelievable. i kinda fell in love with god all over again, and i guess that's the way he provided peace in me.

so anyway, physio test was okayy. cos all the LONG hours spent on muscles paid of! whheeee. (:

im going for planetshakers later. i dunno what to expect, but i pray god calms me down.
AM SO STRESSED. ): so much to study. so much to do. 5 weeks till end terms! not that it matters as much as entry to. __________________________

i havent applied yet, but i really pray i get in. i havent applied yet, and that's wad's killing me most. it drives me nuts insane and jumpy with anxiety.

):

anyway, on the nonsence side, PEOPLE like talking to me cos im random! hahahahah that's so funny. when i heard 2 people say that at the exact same time! and my sch mates think im an introvert! :D hahaha! so different from serve when im like such a-without a doubt- extrovert.

its funny , how much things have change, how ive change,

thinking of the personality test session we had during serve, when we were split into Is and Es, and there was a real battle going on cos the INTROVERTS said the EXTROVERTS were attention seekers who didnt use their brains and talk without thinking. and then the extroverts were so angry and were like, : " just because you dont say anything you all think you all are so smart!" i cant really rmb the WHOLE argument, and presentation but i remember that our main conclusion was that introverts were very very very mean. (:

aye, i miss joshualin. hhahahaha. (: dont get me wrong! but he's so cute and fun! we were like part of the extroverts who got offended and like trashed the introverts back toget, along with bings and the rest! hahahahah

my georgie and bush

2006-08-04T21:20:00.001+08:00

maybe its just me; or i dunno.
i think the world is going kuku.

for one, this aunty, when i was buying dinner today, she was like, "are you singaporean?"

and im like ya??
and she was like, hmm you dont look or sound singaporean, and after a minute, she beamed at me.

NOW; wad's that supposed to mean!?

whatever, so i came home after piano, almost 8+ 9. and my daddy, was watching xmen evolution on cartoon network.

-

my father. actually fancies cartoons.LOL.

and then my bro came home, and threw me this turtle green softtoy THING. and said it was for me!?!?

and i spend the whole time thinking he was bluffing me. but he was for real!
my bro actually bought me a GIFT. and he didnt even buy me any presents, in all my wonderful 17 years of life.
NO CHRISTMAS; NO BIRTHDAY PRESENTS.

umm yes.
OH WELLS; on a side note, i have NO idea why people keep buying me tortises/turtles! its not that i fancy them at all! i have bad history with them! i remembered in primary sch, 4hope, the ULTIMATE class, had terrapins as class pets, then alot of ppl decided to kinda leave their terrapins in class, cos it was like kinda cool. so we had 6- or so terrapins, might be more.
yea anyway, we had duty rosters, and those on duty had to clean the terrapin's SHIT. change the water and all.

and when YOU had the MONDAY duties, you DIE. cos the terrapins BOMB the tank . like seriously, 3 days, they poo like mad, and the smell makes you faint.i still remember screaming when they emptied the tank in the sink. it was SO SO SO SO FREAKING SMELLY.

so many terrapins.

what joy!

so see; i dont fancy terrapins. and i receive 4 turtles/ terrapins for my birthday this year. cos people think they're green. so i like them. -.-
.
hahahah. but i love the presents ALL the same! (:
it was really sweet of you all! to give me real life terrapins! i named them after my FAVORITE serve mate, george! the male terrapin's georgie, and the female's bush.

toobad, georgie's dead, im left with only bush.

reminisence

2006-07-31T22:47:00.000+08:00

take me to the place where i'll be happy always, always always;

i wanna be happy, i wanna be free;
i wanna know why i do things for, i wanna have reasons to beam.
i wanna bungee jump and scream my guts out
i wanna go water rafting, i wanna go water RAFTING. those super crazy water rushing over rocks kind!
i wanna play street netball every day. i wanna run and jump;
soar with wings,
like when the whisle beeps. i'll always remember that feeling.
when u leap so high; and you intercept the opponents ball.
turnover,

gmethfamily. ms wee's xingfu.

ven,su,g, ali, shulian/moo/ahma,neng,
lifen,paula,quack,beh,yushu, seeyun. manda

its funny how you find yourself, looking from the outside.
i'm standing here but all I want
is to be over there

why did I let myself believe; miracles could happen
cause now I have to pretend
that I don't really care

I thought you were my fairytale
my dream when I'm not sleeping
a wish upon a star that's coming true
but everybody else could tell
that I confused my feelings
with the truth
when there was me and you

i wanna catch yuyu's thunderbolt- powered passes; i wanna challenge myself to sprint like NEVER,
be like esther. the best. now CAPTAINOFTEAMSAJCHUH.
unclebob. hahah.

i wanna do nothing but all that.
i dont wanna grow old; cos i have to worry bout the insignificant.
worry bout fear, worry bout/for friends MORE. worry about when we'll ever meet again.
yuyu; YUYU. yuyuyuyuyuyu. and the whole team.

i swore I knew the melody ; that I heard you singing
and when you smiled, you made me feel
like I could sing along ; but then you went and changed the words
now my heart is empty. i'm only left with used-to-be's
and once upon a song

now I know you're not a fairytale ;and dreams were meant for sleeping
and wishes on a star . just don't come true

cause now even I can tell
that I confused my feelings, with the truth
because I liked the view.

When there was me and you

I can't believe that I could be so blind
It's like you were floating, while I was falling
but I didn't mind

Because I liked the view
I thought you felt it too
when there was me and you

i wish i could go back to the secondary sch days. days like those ached lesser.
when we still had crushes. HAHAHA. crushes. so old school.
oh my GOSH.
all those crazy unimaginable laughter cos of crushes. LOL.
AND someone just dug up ALL my AWFUL secrets lar. some SURPRISE it is.

anyway;
gramps has moved , i feel so weird and sad.
he went back to my uncles' house. i miss him.
this might be the last year i see him.
my granpa; turns 97 on 21st august.

80 years older than me.
(:
i miss him, i miss his opening the door for me,
when i go to sch; church, just out.
i miss kissing him goodbye and hello, he seems to appreciate such a small, and farmiliar gesture.
i would ALWAYS remember him kissing me on my cheek with his UNEVENLY SHAVED face,
poking my cheek really badly, it hurts, but NEVER MIND.

i miss seeing him wake up at 5 or 6 am, play his solitare, read the straits times,
watch tennis, or anything on tv, thinking its soccer.i miss being so weary of him falling.
scratching himself on sharp things, drooping food on the floor. and falling asleep on the couch. i miss preparing dinner at 6 pm for him, and seeing him sleep so soundly on cute bedsheets at 9pm SHARP. grandpa loves ROJAK, curry puff, satay . he ALWAYS asks for that.

i've grown up, grandpa's grown old.

the cycle never changes,

since i was primary 1, when he stayed over; to look after his beloved granddaughter.

the future looks so so uncertain>

you asked for peace

2006-07-30T15:09:00.000+08:00

In his time ; in his tiiiimmmeee.

he makes all things beautiful, in HIS timeeeeeee.

LORD please show me everyday, as you're teaching me your way,

that you do just what you say, in your time.

we -joshdan, me, nana, taught lessons today.
been missing people. i was talking to someone last night, and was UBER tired this morn.
i mean, someone who hasnt been to church lately.
i felt so pained to hear what the person said.

AIYAH. i wished i could do smth. ):

but i aint GOD, - yea,

. anyway, grace said we did a good job today.
nana says i should really do what i teach, cos im scarying her by being so so stressed.
DAN'S SCARYING ME, cos he's so stressed.

assignments, exams, commitments, COMMITMENTS, projects, stuff, COMMITMENTS,

SIGH.

so much for marrrying our spiritual life, with THE secular life.

im beggining to figure out what i wanna study(: im excited mummy's ALRIGHT with me not being the ANDROOEY kinda person. i hope i can get accepted by UNIs! i hope pray real hard, i'll get to a uni by next year!

MAY YOU GO IN PEACE>

gramps

2006-07-29T11:01:00.000+08:00

GRAMPS IS HERE TO STAY (:

im so so happy.
he's sitting right beside me, so i asked him 3 times,

" granpa wad would you do if you're mad at someone"

AND HE DOESNT WANNA ANSWER ME.

and then he went on to tell me random things, like how he's seen the world. how he fell down a hill?
and weird stuff. and then he said.

" the LORD is the great one, and he knows everything in your heart"

granpa went on to tell me the greatest REAL LOVE story i've heard many times, i admire my granpa. he loves my nan, thou its her 10th death anniversary ready.

maybe i'll put it all behind me, and let God do whatever he plans.

cos granpa says there's much more to the world, then being angry. even if he didnt, i can feel his heart. i miss my nan too ):

when it all falls apart

2006-07-24T20:33:00.000+08:00

sometimes, the world just leaves you feeling so unappreciated, thou its not true, whatsoever.
i dont care.
we live in this evil world, and that's what i see.

i see people who dont give no shitte. and i see people who give everything, for nothing.
yupp.

i was/am feeling terribly uncertain bout life, and its paths.
i was feelin super down, super pissed, super weird.
i had this burning sensation, to go to for service, all thru the week
maybe even go for 5pm service. and after, let pastorjo pray for me.
i simply couldnt wait for sunday.

i wanted all else to fade away, wanted everyone, everything, every problem, every thought to just fade away.

but none of that happen.

-we went up for service late.
pastor vincent had alr made the alter call.

i missed it?-

i thought. and was kinda dissappointed cos that' was one main reason i was going to service that day! to be prayed for!

then they started singing a song, which i totally cant remember what it was, cos i was talking to God so fast. i was praying and asking why i had this awful feeling, why why why why why. and then the tears came down, and my bestie, whom FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER, WAS NOT DRAG TO SERVICE. she was like, manda can i pray for you? and i nodded, and she said the sweetest, most touching prayer ever. it struck my heart, and made me realised more than ever,

and earnest prayer was all i needed, thankyou nana.
i realised this was how God answered my prayer.

you make me wanna cry somemore nana. thankyou forbeing there, when all else was all shitte. superficial, forced/ god knows, and whatnot. thankyou for telling me you appreciate me alot . i'll missyou when im gone.

2006-07-21T23:58:00.000+08:00

for the very good friend;
SURPRISE! (: happy happy happy sixteenthhundred birthday!
enjoy the gifts, the life, the laughter, the joy,

with your ROCKING horse that doesnt rock, and have no legs?!
OH, apparently, u fancy green now, HUH.

(: ummmhmmmm.
and with all the LOVE in the world, i hope you'd always be happy!

2006-07-18T22:02:00.000+08:00

Good-humored, ironic, rock n' roll, and VERY wide Hold on tight. Imagine everything above, below, and around you streaming through your eyes and compacting into a nice and compact little ball. Think about your best friend's nose being vacuum-sucked into your lens, all the while their eyes and forehead are s-t-r-e-t-c-h-e-d back. Visualize yourself bowled over by the devastating colors that only fine glass can deliver. The world's first honest-to-God Fisheye camera is here and waiting to swim into your life. Open your heart, stretch out your hands, and grease up your fins.

my gosh my gosh! i want a lomo camera! ARRRRRRRH. (:
crazineess. its ART and beyond! i went to the oldparlimenthouse' cos someone brought me on a RANDOM walk, well they had this AMAZING exhibition of lomo pictorial graphs! amazing is just an understatement!

oh my gosh oh my gosh! aiya): i dunno when will i be able to afford that fisheye.

anyway.
brought back the rush of memories, the photo "whoring" hahaha and the snappy snap snap. The joy that behllaku and i had for pretty pictures. i guess that's who really made me serious about the pics i take! yea, thou usually the ones with people very random, but i love captivating pictures. est says she wants to be a professional photograper, i remembered(: well, she's always great and PERFECT in everything she does.

sometimes you wonder why others are such, and you're not huh?

i have nothing more to add; certain things just piss me off so badly.

2006-07-15T22:15:00.000+08:00

i taught my bro how to play a few songs today!
such a cool thing! we had loads of fun while i was teaching him!
(:

im starting to feel the stress of everything. i just realised today that if and when the examination board wants to, they'd send you your exam date. like ONE week, or TWO weeks before! oh my gosh ): that's such a killer! it makes me worry like MAD. but i do PRAY that my exam's in the end of sept. PLEASE GOD>

and then sch's a pain in my butt. i cant stand it. THE STRESS> the piles of worry and anxiety building up! the lack of time, the STUPID hopeless cant manage time properly brain of mine, THE DEVIL and his temptations, like teevee and com, and phone. and then, there's reports and assignments, and lectures that are getting tougher by the day, and filled with MATHS. ):

aiya.

today, i met nana after piano, then while we were window shopping, there was this man, who rushed up to the salesgirls, and he was like, "hey, commere commere. have you all seen this girl! she was ---------------, and she was last carrying her back with the strap across, like that."

the picture was of this girl, like holiday style, in front of mountains and fields kind, more like a lady. yupp, i thought it was rather sad, i felt sad for him! he was like so worried and anxious and clueless, and ARH. u know it, maybe its becos of all the cop shows that i watch.

I SHALL WATCH CSI one day. everybody talks about it in sch, even the lecturer! well, anyway, it was one of the SHORTEST shopping time ever. we spent like only 1 hr, all the clothes were, LOUYA.

and yet they say that parkway parade is the place to be>

i bought a pair of new heels with mummy, like not long ago, YAY. im really sad to spent money again! not that i really wanna spent it on heels, but cos of presentations, and all the other heels being FAR TO SMALL, that i get a MILLION blisters as a result, ive got big feet. like estherbeh! ahahahahahahahahahhaa. ( i still remember , all of us goes for netball training, she goes for SOCCER! x) ) oh wells, there's ALOT of things i rather spend that sum of money on ):

and SOMEONE'S birthday is cominggggggggggggg.
someone who's an environmentalist.
who loves plants, trees, soil. and what not.

2006-07-14T20:30:00.000+08:00

maybe my love will come back someday>

2006-07-11T23:48:00.000+08:00

ive been fine thank you!
i must THANK ANDROOEY (:
i think that's such a nice name!
and he's really really nice!

actually, the Lord has been REALLY great!
on mon, first day of sch, i was feeling like crap.
so tired! didnt have the strenght to go through boring lectures.
and i was praying and thinking and reading my book on the train,
then,

this SNEAKY BOY with geeky specs and a PLASTICBAG full of eclairs, came staring at me!
deep in thought, i didnt realised, DUH.

GUESS WHO THE SNEAKY BOY WAS!

GAVIN GAVIN CHEN!

well, he was so sneaky! 3 stations later after observing my frowns and distressed, he then proceeded to entertained me all the way till queenstown, and got me psyched for lessons! yay, thank god for that! gavin looked so ultra how-a-guy-should-look-after-world cup!

and today, well, i was so tired!
and i was scared i'd be too bored toconcentrate,
then ANDROOEY's msgs kept me laughing to myself! seriously!
during chem that is, my chem teacher's like a train man,
efficient, admirable, sometimes fast, and well, cool (:

OH WELLS.
i had lunch with bengraciepooantonio! meetballs at ikea! ben was hilarious! with his last meat ball flying of his plate, classic i tell you!

and after that, back to sch, for HORRID HORRID MATHS.
a maths.
RAHHHHH.

robinn the rocker of banana republic's gonna FAINT soon, cos he's gonna help me with calculus and a maths on fri. AHA.

oh wells, I AM SO SO GLAD! for all the people he's provided me with.
(:
for companion ship, for life!

enjoy it while it lasts, cos good things dont last forever>-faint smile here

2006-07-09T15:15:00.000+08:00

wo yao li qu bie zai ku qi
bu yao shang xin qing ni xiang xing
wo yao deng dai
wo de ai
pei ni yong bu li kai

ying wei hui you na me yi tian,
wo men qian zhe shou zai chao yuan ting
niao er ge chang de sheng ying
ni hui shuo shen wo ai ni

its quite dumb that i write chinese, kinda eeky too.
but its too nice ready. sometimes you dont know why, but you're just filled with overwhelming sadness.
if this comes with age, i dont wanna grow old!

really. if age brings sadness, if age brings departure, our parents should cultivate in us the joy of goodbye. on the way home yest, selene accidently told me something that send my heart crashing into a million and ten pieces.

god gave me this passage, in john verse 16.
the only comforting thingg so far.
where the disciple's grief WOULD BE turned into joy.

yea, so much confusion, so much problems, time and time agian, killer vicious cycles. GOD, i put my trust in you OKAY?):

thankyou graciepoo for your prayer and thoughts and everythingg else..

ying wei hui you na me yi tian wo men qian zhe shou zai chao yuan ->

I LOVE YU YU

2006-07-08T00:20:00.000+08:00

(:

im listening to jj's hui you na me yi tian. SO AWESOME LAR. (:
the one that yuyu has no cares whatsoever about.
while i was searching for this song, she was ENTERTAINING HERSELF, with this, and i meant REALLY entertaining, she even noticed the way they dribbled, who scored, and how great this little green kiddos were.

she's weird lar! she thinks the ULTIMATE CLASSIC boyzone's -love me for a reason; sounds like our national anthem. LOUSY POO, YOU!

she thinks beauty and the beast is awesome, and still wants to know wad my favorite fairytale was/is, till this day! (when we were in sec 2 i think? i told her 3 little pigs! (: )

i love my YUYU. i think ive given her a million names during our WHOLE sch life together! timon and pumbaa. HA. poooty puncess. BOBBY KOIL. TAN YUYU. yushu! i cant imagine anyone else who can live with a million names other than her own! she's never glared at one name i called her! yes you, my absoultely fatabulous ASS.

i think she looks like magikapp and she thinks i look like bulbasaur. HOW TYPICAL. we have matching socks, and i still have out tableCLOTH. with our half time table on it. i love doing silly things with her, and calling her an ass, cos she does DUMB things. LIKE ME (:

I LOVE YOU TAN YUYU. ITS BEEN TEN YEARS ALREADY! (:
i hope with sch and all, the schedules, the crazy present, the new friends, the old life, i hope we'll be friends forever and ever! i'll never wanna let you go, cos, I LOVE YOU! (:
whether we wear crappy clothes, or HOLEY ones(YOUR SHIRTS ALWAYS SO HOLEY), HAHAHA.! i wish we had more pics of when we were P1!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY :DDDD ; not.

pp P S : we already almost got ourselves burnt when we were FORCED to play with fire by MOE, ): ARHH. life with my chem partner is AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME! how i miss it dearly ):

2006-07-07T10:13:00.000+08:00

i went for piano yesterday, and after, spent my day at the pox-stricken yuyu's house. (: though she had so little pox, and it wasnt itchy at all. i'll upload the crazy pictures we took SOON. but if there's one thing you must know about yuyu,

THIS CAN BE FOUND ON YUYU'S BEDROOM WALL! :xxxxx

hahahhahaha. laugh till you drop dead. JERRY YAN. (: he's so ---------

and that thing on his hair, its not a percentage sign, neither is it bird shit or lizard shit YEA? this is and up close view of it.

F4 never dies man. HAHAHA. i sound stupid. (:

someday you guys should check out my room too :DDD

2006-07-05T16:49:00.000+08:00

petrina has flown away already! ): i hope you have a blast girl! STAY SAFE OKAY and strong too yea!! (:

my mum's really funny, its been an enjoyable week for me,
mainly cos i didnt expect to have 2 weeks BREAK (:
and my mom's on MEDICAL leave, cos she fell on her right arm, and kinda had an injury to her ligament or tendon, OR something like that.
that's why i havent been able to leave the house this week, YUPP.

that's why i didnt go to the airport petrina! but im glad i gave you a bigg hug in church (:

yea, ive been spending alot of time with my mom, and its great!
we've even watched the ENTIRED meteor garden again. HAHAHAHA.
awesome awesome show lar!

anyway, ive always had this thought, after i studied evolution,
like if evolution REALLY existed, and its proven, where does GOD come in,
GOD and EVOLUTION, dont go together at all. naaa-ahhh.
but GOD exists, and we all know that satan does too.

and see if those evolutionists didnt believe in God, that would mean that they would'nt believe in life after death. there would be neither heaven nor hell. neither GOD, nor satan. humans happen to just evolved from apes or slime, or what not. and if that makes that, then there SHOULDNT be any ghosts or ghostesses either! like DUH, where would they be placed on the phylogeny tree HUH?

so yea. why do they kinda contradict their believes, by not doubting there's lucifer, the devil, why do they not insists there's no ghosts and BLAH BLAH BLAH.
this is too crazy for me.i think sometims, man just wanna act so brainy and play GOD or something.

i think i should prolly just start and complete the book jackiepoo gave me, the case for a creator, lee strobel. and then i'll talk more sense.

(:

white-coated scientists of the modern world had trumped the black-robed priests of medival times?

or then again; MAYBE not >

2006-06-30T17:47:00.000+08:00

ive decided!
i cant afford to grow any paler. my years of training would go to waste!
i look so YELLOW and greeny in photos now!

i wanna be tan againnnn!
but i dont want all the freckles mole thingyy. got enough ready.

now THAT's my dilemma. ):

2006-06-30T15:00:00.000+08:00

you know ;
today i realised that i KNOW one of the whackiestly-pretty BABE.
it isnt cos of looks or what not,but her insides, her brains, her heart, and everything else.
i sound chessy, and wrong, but as i said, im really thankful for my friends.
that explains the BABE, in my links (:

im thankful for sat night, at the airport, before the guys came back,
i guess God really let me know jingyu more.
im glad for that too.

(:

this is JJ's shirt! its very shaky cos i was laughing, you just picture JJ staring at me weirdly can ready. NOW he thinks we're mad. colleen me jingyu, but maybe he thinks its just me! LOL.
but come on, his actions contradict his shirt!

right, im feeling very bored, photoshop's kinda not working, cos i forgot how i made all the pics stick together! HAHA. so i shall stick it all next time and put them up NEXT TIME.

but here's the pic of my FAKE bestfriend, i rock his world, and we'd be friendZ foreverZ, right -.
at least he stood up for me when gavin was making fun of me. WHAHAHAHAH. gavin.

poor gavin.. i think robin drives him crazy sometimes. i've got a few shots of that! crazy robin LOL.

oh wells. im really glad and thankful for everysingle one of them, (: read corinthians this morning, reminded me again, of alot of things. and the unequally yoked thingg applies to not only lovers LAR. i realised how foolish somepeople CAN be. date with my serve budds was enlightening to. to hear how much life isnt that cherrygarcia like-

2 Cor 12: 9-10

But he said to me: " My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. THat is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions in difficulties. For when i am weak, i am strong.

means so so so much>

2006-06-28T23:52:00.001+08:00

(:

so muchh pleasant or not/ has happened since i last blogged.
too busy for such stuff? probably.
60th annivesary COMING THROUGH. we need to give it a BIG BANG. aye?
J1s and sec1s and cant remember who are doing ushering!

THAT'S US! quite cool quite cool. we all gotta dress up like UBER formally.
i think?

welll that's just part of why im busy busy.

THE NEPAL TEAM IS BACK.
on sat, the last team came back! yea (:
im really glad they're back, but they're really excited to go back to nepal.
which is a really really good thingg too.

im really glad and excited to go (nepal) when i hear all their whacky stories,
but then raaaahbean says i cant go ):
which would most probably be true if he says so, seeing he knows me, and he's been there.
TO LIVE AND LET LIVE! aye.
well, ive grown used to seeing closed doors, so i try to see where God wants me more. (:
the serve people and i went to the old folks home on monday.
another hospitalised; not sure if she's returning. sighh.
its depressing,
bernerdette. ( I AM FOR REAL) this ahma who's got LOADS of spunk who thinks im called linda, when my name, is bennett, (so alike hers) yar, well, she always thinks of committing suicide. and my ahma, my, cos like im quite close to her. (everyone has an ahma they're a tad bid closer too) yea. my ahma has like 3 children, 2 given away, not by choice. one, who knows where.

i feel very blessed with all the freedom i have each day. we haves cable tv with like 1 million more channels than the ahmas, and yet we complain that there's nothing nice in the morning. you should see the FREAK drama that's SO BORING, that they get to watch, when the staff feels like turning it on. and they usually only have channel 8. they eat dinner at 4 PM. and sleep by 8 PM, and wake up at 6 am, and stone through out the day. all except one of them, reads the papers. they cant read english, dont really know chinese. SIGH. depressing huh?

i dunno; i've been thinking alot lately. cos well, im not TERRIBLY smart, and i dont really give ten hoots about being in yale. i dont really care about being paris hilton and i dont wanna spend my life being a busker. thou i cant, but i just really wanna care for kids or woman or just people. wanna work in WHO. world health organisation. thank the bio research i had to do! LOL. found me MY ideal job. in geneva ):

i always thought pastors preached that what really mattered to the world didnt really matter, but GOD sees ur heart.

but what if, just WHAT IF, my heart was the kindof heart that God desired. just a simple heart who wants to go on missions, and not fight with the dog-eat-dog world for results/ grades/money. the kind that wants to sing praises all day, go to church, listen to sermons, yar! just go through SERVE EVERY DAY. so, IF it were, why do i still feel FRICKING terrible. like i would be a loser or smth. yar. arggg. i just dont like the stress of sch man.

it doesnt help that im surrounded with geniuses. just come look at my world. REALLY.
i can name you at least 20 offhand. WANNA BET!?

--------

ahhh well, i went out with robinraveenandantonio today. watched omen.
what a silly show that scared the guts out of me. it didnt help sitting beside ROBIN. he just stared at me at everypoint of the "scary" scenes as if i was crazy to be freaked out by a FREAK SHOW. and it wasnt as if i was screaming or saying oh SHIT, like i did when i watched shutter. ( (:) i think the director's just a sadist who cant write nuts! i was so scared i was msging colleen during the show!

so much for anti-christ. someone fell aslp during the show. YOU KNOW?

dinner at sakae. and well,
aiya. ive been spending far too much!
):
as of now, i dont have more than 10 bucks to my name,

and im meeting my serve budds tmr (wanli and MINGXING only thou)
and LEEEEN! my ultimate black/white babe on fri,

and im supposed to buy my birkies/shorts/ save for PRESENTS/ save for my MISSIONS fund/ spend on dinners/ buy more LOVEGIFTS to shower my beloved buddies with.

hmm.
so;

i'll just go robb THE bank.

yuyu's got chicken pox. she thinks its worst than not being able to do sports forever.
everyone; ROUND OF APPLUSE PLEASE> (iloveyouYUYU. use my icecube methods yarrrr :D)

2006-06-21T16:48:00.000+08:00

smth totally random that comes with the exam fever :

others have found it rather hard to absorb stuff anymore, so it isnt just me?
anatomy was a killer. what i memorised for section C came out as multiple choiced questions!?
super sickening. section B was total horror. i didnt even study the muscles. am truly dissappointed, cos i memorised 4 sections really well, that i prayed would come out, but it didnt.
SIAN.

but never mind, trust god? i remember waking up at 4 last night and just worrying about today. but i prayed a desperate prayer of faith, in my sleepy state, that God will bring me to wherever he wants me to be. i mean, i like studying, but i hate exams, simply because i dont know the answers, and wont know the answers. cos i'll forget.

such a stupid thinking i guess? but yea, i just get all weird during the exam itself! i met jacky after sch on mon! (:

and i told her that i read JANNY's blog, and she wrote about one of her missions team mate passing away. i think, if i didnt read wrongly, well, then JANNY, was really sad, and happened to bump into mingyang during gofest. and mingyang was all smiley (: saying hi, and suddenly janny just broke down in front of him! and mingyang's face suddenly became the pastor-serious
-nokidd face-. i told jacky it was such an awesome thing to hear,

like SERVE wasnt just a 2 mth thingg where everyone forgot each other after a year.

and jacky said she hope mingyang and janny would end up together. -LOL.
(: like when its the time for both of them to get married. so far lar. but it'll be cool!

YES> and that silly jacky taught me alot AGAIN. never fails too.
( i know she wont mind me writing it here)
so here goes!
see, she had this one way convo with God, one way cos she was pissed with him, for letting her end up getting accepted for some property management thing in NUS. she taught her calling ever since J1 was to be a teacher, not someone who sold houses. YES. so she was angry at God, and things werent to rosy in life.

BUT WHEN GOD SPEAKS, he SPEAKS. to cut the story short, she really prayed for trust, and she decided to do just that in many aspects of her life. AND YOU KNOW WHAT,

when she was appealing for arts and social science in NUS, she left the part where you were supposed to fill in why you wanna go into that course, BLANK. cos she felt its useless applying, and that she wont get in.

and guess what the LORD ALMIGHTY BLESSED HER WITH?

a place in arts and social science. (:

now; it'll all be part of his perfect plan. you'll see! cos he loves both you and me.

2006-06-16T21:25:00.000+08:00

apparently nobody appreciates their cgls enough to write a sweet letter of appreciation!

wasted my time typing out 100 emails! or so.
out of the 100 people i mailed, 1 replied.
so pathetic.
ARGH. the newsletter thing is just killing me larr.

here's smth to laugh about.

" hallelujah.. the pope is in nepal..."

i just laughed my ass off when i read that while studying for bio(:

you know that pre-sch song we always sing,

he's the Lord of the sunshine,
the Lord of the rain
the Lord of the good times,
and the Lord of the pain

he's the LORD of the mountains
the Lord of the seas
he's the Lord of the music
the Lord of the children.
the Lord of you and me.

was feeling kinda sad, about sch, life, and everything else.
cos bio paper didnt go to fantabulous.

well ; A LITTLE SAD ONLY.
and my STUPID neighbours had to make it worst by eating durian.
it was so tempting, and my fridge only had oranges!

ohwells.
TIME FLIES MANN.
GEORGIE'S finished bmt!!
but that's not the point for now,
nana's coming home like on monday. which would be really soon, like 3 days more!
i cant wait to hear how it went.

i cant cant wait!

God knows why, and it has to do with what he spoke to me through ANDREW :s
hahahah

2006-06-15T11:11:00.000+08:00

Those who live up in the Heavens
And those who live down in the deepest place on earth
Will hear Your name
Will know Your fame
All creation will look up and know that

You, Only You
Can lead us to Your awesome majesty
Where we, we will be worshipping You only
It's You only

We have heard You in the fire
And we have followed You across the ocean floor
That's how it goes; The story grows
Two thousand years and still You're speaking

You, Only You
Can lead us to Your awesome majesty
Where we, we will be worshipping You only
It's You only

You only
It's You only
You only
It's You only

You came to free them
They condemned You
They nailed You up and tried to tear Your glory down
But to their shame Sunday came
They realized that even death can't hold You

tree63, you only

right. so im back from sending the nepal team off (:
its really really exciting huh?
i think veen's doing smth really really great.
cos its like, FOOTBALL makes him nutty,
but he's all up and fiery not even really bothered that he'll miss
10 days of the WORLD CUP.

cool stuff!
i pray the blood of the lamb would cover them! ALL!
and i AM SORRY i woke MY DEAREST NEIGHBOUR UP AT 5.50.
cos i really didnt know if you were gonna wake up at 6!

oh welllllls.

i think im really grateful for alot,
after conversing with SOMEONE yest.
im so blessed with so much!

i did this dejavu-nonscence kinda quiz that someone asked me to do, and u know they ask u to list down the names of people in order,

without looking at the ans.

yea. which color makes you think of what person.

yellow-
orange-
red-
white-
green- aunty winnie

and for these were the answers:

yellow- cannot remember what
orange- cannot remember what
red- the one you're in love/like with
white- someone who's like half your soul ( i guess it means bestfriend?)
green- someone you'd remember for life!

WHOO. its a stupid quiz lar.. some mental retardart thingg.
BUT i actually wrote aunty winnie. I DONT KNOW WHY.

but i'll really remember her for life.
she's shed so much tears for us,
she's prayed so HARD for us.
she's watched me grow from tomboy who cant be bothered about learning bout acts,
to THE GIRL who wears SKIRTS, and well, actually LOVE sermons.

hahaha.
she's always saying: " you know they've grown , and they LIKE boys, when they start wearing skirts"
im gonna miss aunty winnie and like graciepoo
when we go to yam, thou its like 1 more year,
but everybody knows time flies.

SO, i think we should all hang out and do more crazy stuff!
yea. i think my black/white babe want's to go welcome robin ant and veeen home.
and i told her might as well stayover at someone's house after!
im hoping its hers. then we can steal a ride from andrew!
(:

yea. i love being seventeen!
but i still wished i finish studying SOONER!

and you know what?!
that day, after sending na/dan/the rest of OC off,
we squashed into ben's car. robin and i have to be squashed together, AGAIN.
and so, here's what im gonna say.

I SWEAR ( its just a pun, id never swear)
I PROMISE id NEVER ever EVER ever EVER use dettol soap ever again.
even if i'd loose 10 pounds after using it.

that day when i stayed over at na's house, her kitchen bathroom only had ONE kinda soap.
which was dettol.
so i used it lar.
duh.
and i used her moonlight or whatever body spray from body shop.
and after that,
robin kept asking me whether i bathed, like so many times!

so idiotic lar!
so im never gonna use them both again. Naa-Aah.

yess. i think there was smth wrong with my tagboard.
but anyway. i made it fatter. (:
LOL.

2006-06-14T10:36:00.000+08:00

i dunno why.
ive wasted every single day of STUDY BREAK.
like since last fri, till now, ive wasted 6 days.

like totally.

cant cant study ):

is it the rush around me? everyone who's anyone IS/ARE living for missions.
I EVEN SAW JOSHUALIN! ( (: ) at the airport!
my serve matey!

nana asked me to stayover at her house, before she left for cambodia.
so i agreed.
didnt know it would make me a depressed kid.
i wasnt sad about her living. nono.
it was how i think i've never seen THAT side to her.

its so strange how people cover up what they really are,
and take up another nature.

the people you love MOST, always hurt you the deepest.
cos they know how to hurt you BAD.

i hate this kinda thing lar.
ive been through enough of TEN YEARS of this kinda crap.

somehow life is a vicious cycle huh?
makes me fear humans more.

what if Jesus came back tmr,
wouldnt it just be GREAT. can cut the crappy depressed SHEET on earth.

but then as veeny said: " LET ME GO NEPAL FIRST LAR WAHLAO!"

yar. so i have to endure like 4 papers, before i can start begging god to come back.

NOW.

2006-06-11T15:30:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY BELOVED GORE GOR (:

WHOOO.
we had a WAY BELOW-standart dinner at cartel's last night.
cos daddy was in tampines, and he didnt wanna travel.
SO, after a SUPER productive afternoon of shopping with mummy at marina's,
went to dinner. (: it was gross lar really. waste my fat storage space.

ANYWAY,
when we came home,
we watched the VERY FIRST movie we ever watched together in my room that is.
MY GIRL.
(:
-
21 21 21. my bro might go aussie mann. last night they were talking about it.
SIAN i say. antonio.robin. goregore. SIAN.

today church was cool.
had to do infocom thingg. saw josh's pics of the stuff that happened in china.

went for lunch after.
chris drove right, then those in the car were,
chris, daniel, gavin, siqi me.
THEN i was like
" gavin, how are we gonna squeeze robin and veen into the car?!"
gavin: " huh? they're coming ar? ask them to go in alex's car"

okay. so WE told robin to go in alex's car. and robin went to tell veen.
so i close the door of chris's car.
and when chris was gonna drive of, robin started making weird faces and signs.
so we let him walk to the car.
AND YOU KNOW WHAT HE DID?!

he opended the door, squeezed in, close the door, planting his BIG BUTT on the seat with no cares whatsoever!
and he sit until so XI FOK SAI.

TSK! but it was really hilarious experience(:
i LOVE my life alot. i dont think anybody would ever have such retardart things done to them!

anyway, after lunch, jj drove me home.(:
so nice of him! cos it was raining and all.
AND I WASNT ONE BIT WET.
like andrew drove my black/whitebabe.

anyway anyway anyway, TODAY's reflections.
i think god was like kinda asking me how far i would REALLY step out of my comfort zone. to obey him.
the pictures i saw today, really made me think.

do i really have compassion?
my patience for angsty smart alecs have grown lesser and lesser.
i get irked when these kids, get rebellious and act as KNOW IT ALLS,
when in actual fact, they dont see how they're ruining their lifes,
they dont see and have no idea of what we'd know would DEFINITELY happen to them.

im speaking bout my 13 year old cousin. really.
he doesnt wanna come to church with me.
doesnt listen to my aunt.
doesnt study.
fails terrible.
he barely made it through PSLE. he had 180.
and he's FAILING in normal acad.

LIKE. he can be smart lar! i watched him grow up.
of course i know what he's like.
he used to like my precious baby brother.

but well. its tough huh. studies and all
he failed LIT. and geog, and barely passed F&N like who fails f&N?!

yea. its like. sometimes i give up talking to him.
its like talking to a bulldozer.
it doesnt give three hoots that u want it to stop bulldozing the land.
cos u're not the boss of the land. (not the boss of him brain/heart)
so it just bulldoze its way through the land, and then, well
that's nothing much u can do bout anything.

the hole's created.
WHAT CAN YOU DO.

maybe God's teaching me how to handle kids?
MY LITTLE DARLING DARIUS punched a guy!
tsk tsk. what can i say. what can I SAY.

i need to really learn more compassion.
what would you do when you see someone, dirty unhygenic, and has a weird stench.
he has the greasiest hair, and the darkest eyes.
their blood shot.
his once pure white cotton shirt is now filled with holes, here and there.
and its no longer white, but stained dark red and yellow. blood and-
you wouldnt wanna touch him right.

but jesus did.

that's all i have to say.

jesus reached all the way down, to save the loss.
he took their hand in his,
even the DOWNRIGHT dirty and most awful teeko on earth,
you cannot bear to forgive him for his unclean past,
his past is all you can focus on.
you cant accept the fact he's now a son of OUR god.
you cant see his good points. only his fault.

how humane of us. thankyou very much.

for even the son of man did not come to be serve, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom to many. mark 10:45

2006-06-08T17:42:00.000+08:00

KNOW WHAT!?
my week has been really great!
i came home like at midnight on sun after GDOP.
dead tired.

AND. i left my book by accident with MY black/white babe,
who was leaving the next day for council camp.
SO. the NICE bishop helped me keep it, and i met him and gavin for dinner,
on tuesday i think?
WELL.
it was nice time, but THEY keep bullying me. INDIRECTLY.

rahhhhhhhhhhhh.
ANTHONY ROBIN AND MY BROTHER, ARE THE WORST 21 year olds ive ever come acrossed!
and that includes aloysious. na's brother, who's 21 too!

what's it with 21 year olds and me/us???

WHY DO THEY LIKE POKING FUN AT BENNETT AMANDA HANNAH.

(i wonder whether it applys to others.)

YUPPP. my brother will be turning 21 this weekend! ((((((:
im gonna bye him red boxers and spray paint his cupboard red
and his feet too! so when he wakes up on his birthday, he'll have red feet!
what a way to start his 21st birthday.

WITH A BANG.

i wished.
all the above is just crapp. i wont do that, LOL.

ANYWAY,

HELLOWORLD. i feel so random and happy now i'll just reply everybody here!

VEENNY: yoooooohoo. (: maybe just maybe, our schedules would CLICK and we'd go high on lunch at the COFFEESHOP below our BLOCKS. WHOO.((: xmen can wait. haha. by the time you finally have the time, xmen 4 would be out man. HA HA HA.
darius: punky little king. hahah i know i know. i tagged ur board ready (: its cooler indeed.
VONNAYE. oeeeei (: hellow babeh. how are things going??
karen: hello you!
ABBYABBYABBY: abby abbbyabby. ahahaha. IM LOVING YOU.

SOMEONE, once told me, if you cut him up, you wont find the normal genetic links, you know, adenine, thymine, guanine, cytosine, NONO. when you cut him up, you'd find A C S.
LOL.
and the person loves the song LIUXINGYU but not LIUXINGHUAYUAN. i find that rather amusing.

hahahha.

SEE. im so happy and random!

dont ask me why either.

I DONT KNOW! (:

2006-06-03T17:56:00.000+08:00

anyway, i just read nique's blog. like how she blogged bout me.
hahah.
and then i thought about how much we've all changed.
sometimes i wonder whether she'll hate me.
for being who i am today.

both of us started in the same class of sec sch.
landed in sec 3 TOGETHER, again.
hung out. hated. swore. dissed. STOLE EGGS. can food and mayo,
cos kiatty was hungry. LOL.
teo sent us often to jwong's lil hut.
(she was the one that thought me to pon sch! with kiatty)

but at the end of sec 3, i went to ONEcamp,
changed. cos God came to my life, and then i suddenly changed.
but then she wasnt there. when this happened.
she stopped coming to sch often, cos of her girlfriend.

and yuyu and i became closer than ever.
i didnt wanna go back to THE OLD ways.
so yea. i became an angel, and she became the devil beside me.
(like the name of the AWESOME taiwan drama!)

do u hate my god quay? the one whom you once loved. way back when all the hurt was already there. when we were both filled with hatred, and had nothing to live for .
how we both once screeched the chorus of ABOVE ALL. and your fav was some sweet heart renching love song of how great god's love is. you knew the sparrow song. the everlasting, and that God will make a way. so why, why are we so different now?

everlasting your light will shine when all else fades>

2006-06-03T16:56:00.000+08:00

havent really done my quiet time this week, was feeling angsty.
and kept giving lameass excuses.

like im busy. RIGHT.

BUT when i did it today, GOD spoke to me, about some entry i wrote long ago.

"God has every right to be angry. Many dont understand God's anger because they confuse the wrath of God as the wrath of men. The 2 have LITTLE in common! Human anger is basically self-driven and prone to explosions of temper and violent deeds.

THIS is the anger of MAN. It is HOWEVER, NOT THE ANGER OF GOD.

GOD simply loves us TOO much and hates what when we turn from him."

SEE. my gosh./ i hope it makes some people think.

anyway, to end it off,

the question is not " how dare a loving god be angry at us?!"
but, " how could a loving God feel anything less!"

when we do stupid things and end up hurting ourselves, our familymembers, our relationship; our LIVES.
God knows what we'll end up in, how we'll end up.
he'll know how we feel, and he'll know how we'll react/ or how we'll regret our actions.
HOW COULD HE FEEL ANYTHING LESS!

like how i was so angry with brina. i let my tongue roll.
now i feel so guilty. acting like a somewhat moron.
adding to the convos. ):
although what she did was dumb and irritating, NO EXCUSES RIGHT?

see what not doing quiet time can do to you! YEA.

2006-06-03T11:46:00.000+08:00

i never knew it was THAT bad. sweaty palms only RIGHT.
i was doing my genetics project, and wondered what sweaty palms' classified under.
LOL. you should look at how people earn monayeeee!
OH WELLS. go look for him if u wanna " change your life"

ohh yea..

END EXCESSIVE SWEATING. THANKS TO DR. GARZA, IT'S POSSIBLE!

Sweat. Perspiration. To some, it's a minor annoyance. But for those who suffer from excessive sweating, it's a serious consideration that can affect daily life, relationships and careers.

Many people, even some doctors, don't understand the problem and dismiss the symptoms as merely troublesome. Yet, the condition, called hyperhidrosis, can cause a person's hands, face, feet, underarms or torso to sweat uncontrollably.

Those who are plagued with hyperhidrosis are always reluctant in social and business settings, never knowing when they will experience the embarrassment of profuse sweating. People who suffer with hyperhidrosis are reluctant to share a hug, to dance, to play cards, to get close. Even something as simple as a handshake can be embarrassing.

Dr. Jim Garza, a thoracic surgeon, founded The Hyperhidrosis Center in 1982. His inspiration for The Hyperhidrosis Center came from years of encountering patients - and family members - who suffered unnecessarily from the condition. Since then, he has been curing patients with a simple outpatient procedure or with Botox®. He has performed over 6,000 procedures on patients with severe sweating of the hands, underarms and feet.

"Hyperhidrosis is an insidious condition often misunderstood not only by family members and friends, but also by physicians. The excessive sweating of hyperhidrosis manifests itself in a variety of conditions, both physical and emotional. It is my goal to further understanding of the disorder as well as to provide a treatment that is suited to the patient's degree of suffering."

If you suffer with hyperhidrosis, it's time to change your life.

oh yeaaaa...

2006-06-01T11:28:00.000+08:00

if you're

a) reich
b) got nothing better to do
c) wanna waste your money
d) absolutely positive money is worth peanuts
Z) all of the above

VOTE FOR PAUL TWOHILL (:

hahahahahah. i like he's singing. and i think he's cool in a weird way.
he's so funny. and he's just got that X in his chromosomes.
he just appeals to me lar.
unlike those 24 year old ahpeks trying to act cool /

YEA>

my mom simply gets freaked out by him. she think's he's ghastly
and then i asked her.

"mommy, what happens if i bring home a boyfriend like that?"

(((((((((((((((:

2006-05-30T15:59:00.000+08:00

OH YEA.
its been a blast from the past!
WENT TO WATCH XMEN3 WITH KA, CJ11, and EST!
it was sweetttt. loves it loves it loves it!
althou i was busy thinking bout my assignments, (SO SCARY. this week got so MANY tough assignments to hand up , and im not even halfway done! )
but then its so rare for everybody to like have a time when we MIGHT actually be able to meet.
so yea, you cant say no, cos there might never be a yes.
ka is still the mean-old baddie! no doubt bout that.
cj, the FUNNY FUNNY GIRL. I MISS YA!
and esther beh, THE REICH ASSRE, with her CK jeans and papillio's and PEANUTS bag. SIAN.
it was super fun, laughing talking, calling ka a pig! hehs. and est's BIG APPETITE, and cj just being sweet (:

AND
its so cool, jake sat 2 rows in front of me. so coincidental right?!
like out of a million seats in the cinema. and all that. hahah. i thought it was rather cool.

YEA, and on the way home, someone called my name!
AND IT WAS NIQUEE CHUAAA.
OH WELLS.
she kept making me look retardart as always!
and then she laughed at my shirt! like what's wrong with it lar!
its retro- LOL.
so i did the only thing that could make her ROLL HER EYES- i said she was very white (:
I MISS YOU TOO QUAY!

AND IVE BEEN THINKING.

since ive been reading this book, TRAVELLING LIGHT, by MAX LUCADO! ( its a good book) so go read it!
the main gist of the book is about learning to not overwhelme with the world, and learning how to lie in still waters, as written in psalms.

think about it,why are we so so stressed by studies and sch, degrees, jobs, careers, - when we're all gonna die and go to heaven,
AND JOIN THE GREAT HEAVENLY BANQUET (as pastor fuman says (: )
yea.
i mean like, degrees, Os cert, As cert, all comes to nothing RIGHT.

to think they say that humans are smart. - >

2006-05-24T23:15:00.000+08:00

moumein boy looked at me for a good 10 seconds.
AHAH! beat that! like the eye to eye kind...
and his classroom, is just 2 doors down!
and and and. apparently, my friend saw his ic no.
1982.

and that makes him a DECADE older than me!
well, almost.

SIAN.

HAHAHAH.
not that it really matters, cos he might be graduating this month for all i know.
i sound so crazy over him, but im really not.
sch's just really too boring, way too stressful, - stupid.

ANYWAY,
ANNDREWW, (whom im convinced has had a plastic surgery) is VERY NICE. (and retardart) but, still NICE.

he taught me genetics and anatomy today!
so nice of him. so now, ask me anything bout epithelial tissue and heart.
i'll answer you! (:

i had a great day,apart from all the assingments
i met nice people
im glad nice people still exists in our world.
THANKYOUANDREWW(:

YOU NEVER FAIL TO AMAZE ME>

2006-05-21T14:40:00.000+08:00

ARGGH.
MY BABY TOE HURTS LIKE HELL.
i was running, and then i kicked the chest,or tripped over the chest! and then the wooden thing ripped out my skin or something,
I FELT AS IF MY BABY TOE BROKE.
but nahhh. it didnt.
it just keeps bleeding and bleeding, and like even when i went to church, it bled.

i came home and removed the spotted stained plaster,
it looked like a sausage. (im trying to stop loving sausages)
there's this like white spot, and the skin underneath is swollen.
my toe looks really weird now, like swollen and twisted to the side, ):

gives you the hibbyjibbies huh?

i learnt alot today,
it helped alot. class that is(:

AND
clement, abby's darling little brother banged into me, and he was WET. from sweat and rain?!
and then antonio had his saliva on this balloon which he like shook near my head- i cant even remember if it touched my head!
what is it with these people??
ROBIN and nana were real funny. cos nana wanted to sell her shoes. THANKS TO VEEN THE BEAN MAN.
hemade her think her shoe was off HIGH VALUE.
so she's like raising the price. of 5 dollars.

she's selling her shoes to robin for $85. not that he even fancies it.
i thought that was rather amusin (:

YOUR WORD IS A LAMP UNTO MY FEET AND THE LIGHT UNTO MY PATH>

2006-05-18T19:15:00.000+08:00

MANN. these few days have been so stressful.
this sch IS stressful. afterall, we're in SINGAPORE.
ah wells, i just finished 3 midterm papers!
2 more next week.
and 10 more assignments dued soon.

WHAT A LIFE.

im ever so thankful for colleen my all time favorite black/white babe (:

YEA.
i just wished that you'd care more.

maybe God made our friends not care sometimes, cos he wanted us to see how easily the whole world turns their backs on their 'friends'.

when we find ourselves in this dark seemingly bottomless pit,
i guess its best if we stop and take a moment of the distractions of OUR worldly fears.
and then'd we'd find this soft light, burning ever so brightly, and warmly.
God's amazing light of love, that had been there right from the beggining.

cos you promised you'd always be there>

2006-05-17T19:40:00.000+08:00

will you be my angel, please?>

2006-05-14T19:10:00.000+08:00

I HAD A FUN WEEKEND. ((:

on fri went with driel to buy his presents/ and nat's present, the made in U.S.A mugg.
and then met petrina ( IM REALLY SORRY if i said anything wrong): TERRIBLY SORRY.)
and then went to Nat's partaye.

AND TODAY.

well, our group had this crazy idea to dress fomally, and take pictures!
in the morn when i just woke up, i realised that i hadnt use my camera for like, 2 mths.
and i thought : " BOY can i live without a camera. NO BIGGIE."

and before i went out, i grabbed my cam, and REALISED- its spoilt! the silly thing wouldnt beam its lights, thou the batts are fully charged!
LIKE I CAN LIVE WITHOUT MY CAMERA! ):!

look at the amt of RANDOM pics i take during SERVE, and everywhere else,
HOW CAN I LIVE WITHOUT IT! ):

so no choice, bobbed to church, in a cab (again), with my camera phone,
which was a shame cos there' are nice pics that i took, but totally cant upload.
SIAN i say.

but today was a really nice day.
took pretty pics with DOUBLE BEN, BRANDON- and his shiny diamond bling, MOSSY, abby nana mojo and the whole grp!
so yea. (: im satisfied!

and after that went to have pepper lunch with mojo and nana, and then went to get our gifts.
from madame butterfly and crabtree and evelyn

im really happy cos mummy's really happy (:
i just know it.
she just likes to kou shi xing fei.

and then mojo had to leave for kap, so we walked her to the CAB stand at wisma, the crazy woman wanted to cab to my home. NUTS i say.
but after our gifts and the FOOD, we had no more money!
so we had to take the train.
went to topshop first.
AND I RESERVED THIS ABSOLUTLEY LOVELY SHIRT THAT'S PERFECT FOR MY SKIRT.

so GRACIE, im not gonna throw/hide the skirt away. =D
i'll just save it for the right day>

2006-05-09T18:56:00.000+08:00

for the last few weeks of sch,
my coursemates have been looking out for eyecandy.
not that i care, but like, till now, they hardly found any.
RECENTLY,
theres this guy, from the show moulmein high, he's in my sch!

uber cool! maybe one day i'll go talk to him. pretend to be his BIGGEST fan.

but the thingg is- I DONT KNOW HIS NAME x)

2006-05-08T19:24:00.001+08:00

OKAY.

so i must have been too stress with assignments. and tests. and well- the world.
been battling with ALOT lately.

been wondering where God was.
which was quite lame, considering the fact that i knew very well, that he was there.
i was just so pissed at nothing.

AND THEN. SUNDAY NIGHT.
HE struck me.

when i was talking to the B I R D.
i suddenly started like choking.

and i spent 2 hours in the secret silent place, not bothering bout assignments for once.
just me and God.
it hasnt been this way for far too long.

PLANET SHAKERS RESCUE ME, such a meaningful song.

When im alone the world is such a different place
Sometimes its hard to keep the smile upon my face
It seems like I try so hard and still I let you down
Its taken so long but now theres one thing that Ive found

When everyting starts crashing down
When all I know falls to the ground
When darkness comes and I can't see
You're always there to rescue me

Just when I think that Ive got it figured out
You open my eyes and let me see that theres no doubt
But you've got it all within the power of your hand
It seems like the more I know the less I understand

When everyting starts crashing down
When all I know falls to the ground
When darkness comes and I can't see
You're always there to rescue me
When all my strength has turned to fear
When I wonder if you're near
When I dont know how to break free
You're always there to rescue me

I wonder if Ill make it through this darkest night
I need to know your strength in me gonna win this fight
Im reaching out wont you take my hand show me to the light
I know you're by my side

It seems like I try so hard and still I let you down
Its taken so long but now theres one thing that Ive found

When everyting starts crashing down
When all I know falls to the ground
When darkness comes and I can't see
You're always there to rescue me
When all my strength has turned to fear
When I wonder if you're near
When I dont know how to break free
You're always there to rescue me
You're always there to rescue me
You're always there to rescue me
You're always there to rescue me
You're always there to rescue me

yepp. im glad im glad im glad.

2006-05-02T11:20:00.000+08:00

you know what? its been a year since i had this blog. LIKE WHAO.
i vaguely remember why i deleted the ULTRA old blog that i had since sec 1.

cos i felt it was so - stupid.

now looking back at the past entries of this blog, they're quite stupid too.
and naive and so vulgar! tsk tsk.
no wonder matt calls me a punk. lol.
anyway, its like i kept saying shit. and damn. and whalao.
and nana says now i hardly say that. after going to SERVE that is,

but i think the damn is coming back. so must watch my tongue.
i seriously think my standarts are dropping alot,

with this mouth i glorify God, and honour him.
with this same mouth, how can i curse and swear,

yea. im really ashamed of how i just used to let my anger and emotions rule my head.
just let the tongue roll, and not care about how i vented my anger.
but then again, everyone has a past.
i think i kinda sounded like some plastic bimbo in those past entries.
BUT,
im glad it has made people see how God can change someone's heart,
im glad He has made me realised and learn so much.
im glad He has placed me in all the difficult situations ive ever been in.
im glad that no matter what the outcome;
no matter what the circumstances,

his love has never once failed me.
his power made perfect in my weakness,
cos he shows his strenght through our meekness.

2006-05-02T01:47:00.000+08:00

dont you just wished that you could grow up faster, get your own house and live your own life,
7 years ago, my dad was nagging me about my piano lessons,
7 years after, he's still at it.
creepy how people never fail to say the SAME, OLD thing.

i grew TANNER. if it mattered to anyone. (:
sch's now better. ive met better people, and its quite bearable i guess.
cos i got people to msg and keep me SANE when im not. hahahaha.
and ive met this girl called hairin, she's quite cool.
i hope nothing goes bad.
she was from cj, hockey.
yea. and we went running during our break at the stadium on friday.
at like 12 pm! noon time. my mom almost killed me.
i ran like 5 rounds! after aeons of slacking and the layers of lipids!
NOT BAD. NOT BAD NOT BAD. (:
so anyway, it was cool.

i felt so alive, like loosing netball in my life, its like half my heart died or smth.
no netball during break, no netball after sch, no sprinting, no dodging, no crapping, no shooting. no throwing of BALLS. i miss running till my shoe spoils and tears apart.
i miss playing with my socks until there's holes in it.
i miss running in those socks.
i miss coming to sch with perfect color combi's of socks with yuyu. ):
i miss getting caught for my ultra perfect material socks.
i miss getting hot and sweaty and wet cos we perspire so much.
i miss shouting with esther and yuyu.
AIYA. those were the good old days.
with our ugly hair. (: and my messy uniforms, and yuyu's ahlian ears and forever sprained ankle. and esther's GUAI KIA SOCKS and damn long skirt.
THOSE WERE THE DAYS.

so i hope that i can take up tennis or some game, once i finish my grade 8.
i wanna do other sports, but MY SCH HAS NO CCA.
and my only days free are sat. but that's when i have piano.
SIAN. i dont wanna become some fat potato, so much stored up carbo!

anyway, after worship meet yesterday,
we WALKED at high speed to bedok corner. and all of them left ready!
):
then me mossy and danielle, had to go look for them at coldstorage, where they were making use of the a i r corn. -.-

MOSSY THE TAUPOK is, as bentheMAN calls him, a PUNGSAI KIA. (:

anyway anyway,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY BENthePRETTYboy of a MAN. (:

dont cha just love the hols>

2006-04-24T14:40:00.000+08:00

i never treasured sunday like that before..
so precious- i dont want it to go to waste.
after youth today, hung out with robin chrissss ant.. and the rest at fellowship deck for awhile,
robin's so lame. (:

then went to bedok corner with the guys joshdanbrandonlesliemoss,and abby nacolleen.
had loads of fun. cos moss came (:
and we did retardart things. and talked bout retardart stuff.

and then we went to brandon's house!
COOL HOUSE.

i wish my sundays would be filled like the ENTIRE day.
i wish there's church camp. like now.

):
i miss my churchmateys.

2006-04-20T22:23:00.000+08:00

lmy brother let me used his com.
(:
my darn internet has crashed.
while dreaming today, i scribbled YUYU ROCKS in my book.
to absorbed in dreaming. i supposed. too used to scribbling on that ass's paper.

i miss how MISS NG teaches, ): and mr LIM. my teacher thaught us how to read the VERNIER CALIPER TODAY. YIPPY.YIPPY YIPPY.

and today, my chem lecturer told us about labs having ovens,
I WONDER WHY GM DOESNT HAVE OVENS, make us do that stupid experiment that charred the paper, and make me and YUSHU scream and put out fires like mad. ALMOST BURNT OURSELVES ALIVE.

anyways. moving on, reality check.

WHAT'S WORST THAN LOSING SOMEONE YOU LOVE?

WATCHING THEM DIE IN PAIN AND AGONY.

i cried in the hospital today. can u imagine not having your mom! i cant, my mom is like so precious to me. and my dearest cuzzie is only thirteen. ): my aunt's in the terminal stage of cancer. the cancerous cells have already attacked the liver. and the doctors cant do anything about it, remove that fishball size thing, and the cells would spread faster, so lets say they cut a hole in my aunt, only to realize they cant do anything about it, so they close the hole back. and now, she's paying to suffer 1000 times more, for nothing. you can see the tears in her eyes. not being able to move at all, her womb hurting like. --------.

to my dearest beloved aunt,

the look in your eye
of pain and desire
to see the world revolve
or your little child's trials

i wish i could help you,
but what can i do.
i cant ease the pain,
only try to.
i really wish for something
something so true
from god almighty,
to really bless you.

his plans are devine
but seemingly unkind ,
he whisper so softly:" child, you're mine. trust me and you'd be fine."
assurance so strong
i prayed even harder for you

my dearest aunt,
nought i can say
aint much i can do
but i'll walk the last days with you
and God will carry you through.

2006-04-18T08:42:00.000+08:00

EASTER'S OVER ): lets look forward to chrismas now!

easter camp went quite well. as in, although my lectures were like, nervous run through, and i couldnt really remember what i wanted to say, God made it okay. It was a first step to alot of things. I learnt alot too. and i realised why i can talk alot of nonsence on the spot in front of people, but just become speechless on stage. and then there was my the piano playing for worship. it was RATHER obvious i stumbled. but then God still touched everyone. I learnt one really really important thing, and its that, it would not be by OUR might that we play super super well and we touch the people, or the youths, its God's very own presence and his hand at work.I played badly, but its God who decides. as long as i gave it my all. so im working hard to improve. and im working hard to stop stage frights. and God's gotta help me! (:

During easter camp, we went to Jeremy and Alex's church OLPS. and attended a catholic mass. it really opened my eyes to how different denominations worshiped Jesus. its like some may say that catholics worshipped statues and all that, but they only venerated mary, not worshiped her. if i heard correctly that is. i mean like do you know how much respect for God the catholics seem to have?

they have like huge lines of people attending the service, and if you're among the later ones (who still come before the service starts!), you gotta stand thru the WHOLE service cos theres not enough seats, and we kneeled like 64 times during that particular mass. uncle sinchee's son, Jeremy actually counted. hahaha. anyway, the people who had no seats not only needed to stand thru the ceremony, they kneeled on the ground when we were kneeling on the padded thing. like knowing they would not get seats, why did they still come? that really amazes me. that they had this personal love for God so deep, that they'd come to church still.

well, that night robin ant me colleen dan were like busy preparing for the next day, at 2+ we were still cutting stuff, and preparing stuff. by 3+ robin colleen and dan had knocked off. only anthony and i were still writing speeches. well we slept 4+ was so tired! veeny came in the morning and bought me red bull on the way hahahaha (: so nice of thebird. gracie cooked breakfast (with unclesinchee)!

anyway, ant(taoni LOL) says i should pack robin up in a zip-lock bag and bring him home cos im so amused by him. he entertains me! and everything he does i'd laugh. HAHA. the bishop quek.
soit was quite a happy easter for me, cabbed to church on sun. went to dan's chalet, ride home, good bonding time (:

jestyn asked me bout my sch like last week, and all, and i told him. i told him this is like such an awkward route but i know God wants me to learn smth. and he said alot about trust and faith. but one sentence rings like a bell,

THEN THIS IS GOD'S PERFECT AWKWARD PLAN>

2006-04-12T12:29:00.000+08:00

i need some strength.

im totally drained.
just came home from na's.
i need to finish easter camp stuff! and i've got no time. ):
i need wisdom. i need to plan it fast.

I NEED SOME HOPE

your grace still amazes me ; craig and dean philip

that's the almost solo song im playing for easter camp. with shaun doing feel-ins. and those awesome stuff he does.
its so nice when they play it.(thecd) it sounds so boring and SH I TT Y and all just simply wrong when i play it.
):

I NEED YOU ; w h o e ve r y o u a r e.

jitterbugs' ride calling thee home>