my brain is kinda dead. fell asleep during mr tan's lesson. common. how earthly can 3 maths period get. one's bad enough. anyway. suddenly cried yesterday. during pe. cos heard sec3 chaple. they were singing sheperd of my soul. thank god for sweetmuchkins like pot pot and simpy. and yuyu. oh wells. i guess we all gotta face situations one day.come to terms with them, if we must. i dread phone calls now, esp when mummy picks it up, and there's a long pause. im afraid something might happen. paranoid - probably. i miss somebody.
bahhh. good charlotte is so inspirational please! i love them. anyway. i am being a total ka na sai. studied for ss chpt 5 test today. but laolau didnt test us. so now. good governance is all im thinking about. shuff it. kick it all up.
12:48 PM
im done
Tuesday, July 12, 2005
just came home from the wake. i couldnt go for the service, thou i wish i was able to. sch night. it took me an hour and a half to get to his house from sch. so long. and that idiot. still laugh about it. came home at like 8+ ;cabbed home anyway. i guess some people really trust god. you are really something mister, you know that. job. just like job. some ONEcampers came. saw that nemoserene. she remembered me. ((: how nice. szeto didnt even remember who we were. spending time at the wake. hearing them go on and on about me and jestyn made me wished that i was in ONEcamp again. i dont wanna be in sch. where life is sucha pain in the freaking butt. sch's where mostly non-existent trouble exists.
i love ONEcamp ppl.missed them truckloads. and then all the funny talk. and then all the comfort. jestyn was gonna play his guitar and sing, for his mom. i heard him practicing. i tell you. if i actually saw him sing , id really really cry. imagine a tribute to your mom.
its sad . definitely. i miss you.
if i had to do my life over again in sec 3. gawd i would. if i had to do it over again. so much ive lost. so much regrets. so much remorse. the only thing good about life now is yushu. but God puts us in places we can never ever comprehend. since he's in my life, he'd always be there.. when one passes on in life. it's not something to cry about. they've gone to be with our Lord. ((:
belle said jestyn looked like a POW. i agreee. please takecare.
1:00 PM
im done
Saturday, July 09, 2005
i should be happy shouldnt i? a whole new com. new monitor. new technological stuff. all the whoo-hahs. am finally able to use the com peacefully....
but im not.
i really am not.
there's way too much stuff going on this year that has change my oppinion about the materials in ones' life. i have learn in 1 mth and 2 deaths that spending money and saving money to spend money - is stupid. there is soo much grieve going on that money is just some worthless shit that ruin relationships or strain them . so there is no need to bother about it. for when more important things like death ___ comes into the picture, no body will be worrying about it. so while we have all the time in the world left, build friendships, and not evil money scheming fiendships.
-
i learned that jestyn's mom died. totally shocking to me. his mom is even younger than my mom. and he has told me stuff bout his family and mom.. so i kinda know her cos of his stories ... i am totally speechless. although i have never met her ; never known wad she looked like. but i miss her, and feel terrible and sad.
what are they gonna do. i pray everything would be okay.
just like i pray for my own aunt and cousins. when death comes knocking on ones door, there is no stopping it.
