ive decided! i cant afford to grow any paler. my years of training would go to waste! i look so YELLOW and greeny in photos now!
i wanna be tan againnnn! but i dont want all the freckles mole thingyy. got enough ready.
now THAT's my dilemma. ):
5:47 PM
im done
you know ; today i realised that i KNOW one of the whackiestly-pretty BABE. it isnt cos of looks or what not,but her insides, her brains, her heart, and everything else. i sound chessy, and wrong, but as i said, im really thankful for my friends. that explains the BABE, in my links (:
im thankful for sat night, at the airport, before the guys came back, i guess God really let me know jingyu more. im glad for that too.
(:
this is JJ's shirt! its very shaky cos i was laughing, you just picture JJ staring at me weirdly can ready. NOW he thinks we're mad. colleen me jingyu, but maybe he thinks its just me! LOL. but come on, his actions contradict his shirt!
right, im feeling very bored, photoshop's kinda not working, cos i forgot how i made all the pics stick together! HAHA. so i shall stick it all next time and put them up NEXT TIME.
but here's the pic of my FAKE bestfriend, i rock his world, and we'd be friendZ foreverZ, right -. at least he stood up for me when gavin was making fun of me. WHAHAHAHAH. gavin.
poor gavin.. i think robin drives him crazy sometimes. i've got a few shots of that! crazy robin LOL.
oh wells. im really glad and thankful for everysingle one of them, (: read corinthians this morning, reminded me again, of alot of things. and the unequally yoked thingg applies to not only lovers LAR. i realised how foolish somepeople CAN be. date with my serve budds was enlightening to. to hear how much life isnt that cherrygarcia like-
2 Cor 12: 9-10
But he said to me: " My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. THat is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions in difficulties. For when i am weak, i am strong.
means so so so much>
3:00 PM
im done
Wednesday, June 28, 2006
(:
so muchh pleasant or not/ has happened since i last blogged. too busy for such stuff? probably. 60th annivesary COMING THROUGH. we need to give it a BIG BANG. aye? J1s and sec1s and cant remember who are doing ushering!
THAT'S US! quite cool quite cool. we all gotta dress up like UBER formally. i think?
welll that's just part of why im busy busy.
THE NEPAL TEAM IS BACK. on sat, the last team came back! yea (: im really glad they're back, but they're really excited to go back to nepal. which is a really really good thingg too.
im really glad and excited to go (nepal) when i hear all their whacky stories, but then raaaahbean says i cant go ): which would most probably be true if he says so, seeing he knows me, and he's been there. TO LIVE AND LET LIVE! aye. well, ive grown used to seeing closed doors, so i try to see where God wants me more. (: the serve people and i went to the old folks home on monday. another hospitalised; not sure if she's returning. sighh. its depressing, bernerdette. ( I AM FOR REAL) this ahma who's got LOADS of spunk who thinks im called linda, when my name, is bennett, (so alike hers) yar, well, she always thinks of committing suicide. and my ahma, my, cos like im quite close to her. (everyone has an ahma they're a tad bid closer too) yea. my ahma has like 3 children, 2 given away, not by choice. one, who knows where.
i feel very blessed with all the freedom i have each day. we haves cable tv with like 1 million more channels than the ahmas, and yet we complain that there's nothing nice in the morning. you should see the FREAK drama that's SO BORING, that they get to watch, when the staff feels like turning it on. and they usually only have channel 8. they eat dinner at 4 PM. and sleep by 8 PM, and wake up at 6 am, and stone through out the day. all except one of them, reads the papers. they cant read english, dont really know chinese. SIGH. depressing huh?
i dunno; i've been thinking alot lately. cos well, im not TERRIBLY smart, and i dont really give ten hoots about being in yale. i dont really care about being paris hilton and i dont wanna spend my life being a busker. thou i cant, but i just really wanna care for kids or woman or just people. wanna work in WHO. world health organisation. thank the bio research i had to do! LOL. found me MY ideal job. in geneva ):
i always thought pastors preached that what really mattered to the world didnt really matter, but GOD sees ur heart.
but what if, just WHAT IF, my heart was the kindof heart that God desired. just a simple heart who wants to go on missions, and not fight with the dog-eat-dog world for results/ grades/money. the kind that wants to sing praises all day, go to church, listen to sermons, yar! just go through SERVE EVERY DAY. so, IF it were, why do i still feel FRICKING terrible. like i would be a loser or smth. yar. arggg. i just dont like the stress of sch man.
it doesnt help that im surrounded with geniuses. just come look at my world. REALLY. i can name you at least 20 offhand. WANNA BET!?
--------
ahhh well, i went out with robinraveenandantonio today. watched omen. what a silly show that scared the guts out of me. it didnt help sitting beside ROBIN. he just stared at me at everypoint of the "scary" scenes as if i was crazy to be freaked out by a FREAK SHOW. and it wasnt as if i was screaming or saying oh SHIT, like i did when i watched shutter. ( (:) i think the director's just a sadist who cant write nuts! i was so scared i was msging colleen during the show!
so much for anti-christ. someone fell aslp during the show. YOU KNOW?
dinner at sakae. and well, aiya. ive been spending far too much! ): as of now, i dont have more than 10 bucks to my name,
and im meeting my serve budds tmr (wanli and MINGXING only thou) and LEEEEN! my ultimate black/white babe on fri,
and im supposed to buy my birkies/shorts/ save for PRESENTS/ save for my MISSIONS fund/ spend on dinners/ buy more LOVEGIFTS to shower my beloved buddies with.
hmm. so;
i'll just go robb THE bank.
yuyu's got chicken pox. she thinks its worst than not being able to do sports forever. everyone; ROUND OF APPLUSE PLEASE> (iloveyouYUYU. use my icecube methods yarrrr :D)
11:52 PM
im done
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
smth totally random that comes with the exam fever :
others have found it rather hard to absorb stuff anymore, so it isnt just me? anatomy was a killer. what i memorised for section C came out as multiple choiced questions!? super sickening. section B was total horror. i didnt even study the muscles. am truly dissappointed, cos i memorised 4 sections really well, that i prayed would come out, but it didnt. SIAN.
but never mind, trust god? i remember waking up at 4 last night and just worrying about today. but i prayed a desperate prayer of faith, in my sleepy state, that God will bring me to wherever he wants me to be. i mean, i like studying, but i hate exams, simply because i dont know the answers, and wont know the answers. cos i'll forget.
such a stupid thinking i guess? but yea, i just get all weird during the exam itself! i met jacky after sch on mon! (:
and i told her that i read JANNY's blog, and she wrote about one of her missions team mate passing away. i think, if i didnt read wrongly, well, then JANNY, was really sad, and happened to bump into mingyang during gofest. and mingyang was all smiley (: saying hi, and suddenly janny just broke down in front of him! and mingyang's face suddenly became the pastor-serious -nokidd face-. i told jacky it was such an awesome thing to hear,
like SERVE wasnt just a 2 mth thingg where everyone forgot each other after a year.
and jacky said she hope mingyang and janny would end up together. -LOL. (: like when its the time for both of them to get married. so far lar. but it'll be cool!
YES> and that silly jacky taught me alot AGAIN. never fails too. ( i know she wont mind me writing it here) so here goes! see, she had this one way convo with God, one way cos she was pissed with him, for letting her end up getting accepted for some property management thing in NUS. she taught her calling ever since J1 was to be a teacher, not someone who sold houses. YES. so she was angry at God, and things werent to rosy in life.
BUT WHEN GOD SPEAKS, he SPEAKS. to cut the story short, she really prayed for trust, and she decided to do just that in many aspects of her life. AND YOU KNOW WHAT,
when she was appealing for arts and social science in NUS, she left the part where you were supposed to fill in why you wanna go into that course, BLANK. cos she felt its useless applying, and that she wont get in.
and guess what the LORD ALMIGHTY BLESSED HER WITH?
a place in arts and social science. (:
now; it'll all be part of his perfect plan. you'll see! cos he loves both you and me.
4:48 PM
im done
Friday, June 16, 2006
apparently nobody appreciates their cgls enough to write a sweet letter of appreciation!
wasted my time typing out 100 emails! or so. out of the 100 people i mailed, 1 replied. so pathetic. ARGH. the newsletter thing is just killing me larr.
here's smth to laugh about.
" hallelujah.. the pope is in nepal..."
i just laughed my ass off when i read that while studying for bio(:
you know that pre-sch song we always sing,
he's the Lord of the sunshine, the Lord of the rain the Lord of the good times, and the Lord of the pain
he's the LORD of the mountains the Lord of the seas he's the Lord of the music the Lord of the children. the Lord of you and me.
was feeling kinda sad, about sch, life, and everything else. cos bio paper didnt go to fantabulous.
well ; A LITTLE SAD ONLY. and my STUPID neighbours had to make it worst by eating durian. it was so tempting, and my fridge only had oranges!
ohwells. TIME FLIES MANN. GEORGIE'S finished bmt!! but that's not the point for now, nana's coming home like on monday. which would be really soon, like 3 days more! i cant wait to hear how it went.
i cant cant wait!
God knows why, and it has to do with what he spoke to me through ANDREW :s hahahah
9:25 PM
im done
Thursday, June 15, 2006
Those who live up in the Heavens And those who live down in the deepest place on earth Will hear Your name Will know Your fame All creation will look up and know that
You, Only You Can lead us to Your awesome majesty Where we, we will be worshipping You only It's You only
We have heard You in the fire And we have followed You across the ocean floor That's how it goes; The story grows Two thousand years and still You're speaking
You, Only You Can lead us to Your awesome majesty Where we, we will be worshipping You only It's You only
You only It's You only You only It's You only
You came to free them They condemned You They nailed You up and tried to tear Your glory down But to their shame Sunday came They realized that even death can't hold You
tree63, you only
right. so im back from sending the nepal team off (: its really really exciting huh? i think veen's doing smth really really great. cos its like, FOOTBALL makes him nutty, but he's all up and fiery not even really bothered that he'll miss 10 days of the WORLD CUP.
cool stuff! i pray the blood of the lamb would cover them! ALL! and i AM SORRY i woke MY DEAREST NEIGHBOUR UP AT 5.50. cos i really didnt know if you were gonna wake up at 6!
oh welllllls.
i think im really grateful for alot, after conversing with SOMEONE yest. im so blessed with so much!
i did this dejavu-nonscence kinda quiz that someone asked me to do, and u know they ask u to list down the names of people in order,
without looking at the ans.
yea. which color makes you think of what person.
yellow- orange- red- white- green- aunty winnie
and for these were the answers: yellow- cannot remember what orange- cannot remember what red- the one you're in love/like with white- someone who's like half your soul ( i guess it means bestfriend?) green- someone you'd remember for life!
WHOO. its a stupid quiz lar.. some mental retardart thingg. BUT i actually wrote aunty winnie. I DONT KNOW WHY.
but i'll really remember her for life. she's shed so much tears for us, she's prayed so HARD for us. she's watched me grow from tomboy who cant be bothered about learning bout acts, to THE GIRL who wears SKIRTS, and well, actually LOVE sermons.
hahaha. she's always saying: " you know they've grown , and they LIKE boys, when they start wearing skirts" im gonna miss aunty winnie and like graciepoo when we go to yam, thou its like 1 more year, but everybody knows time flies.
SO, i think we should all hang out and do more crazy stuff! yea. i think my black/white babe want's to go welcome robin ant and veeen home. and i told her might as well stayover at someone's house after! im hoping its hers. then we can steal a ride from andrew! (:
yea. i love being seventeen! but i still wished i finish studying SOONER!
and you know what?! that day, after sending na/dan/the rest of OC off, we squashed into ben's car. robin and i have to be squashed together, AGAIN. and so, here's what im gonna say.
I SWEAR ( its just a pun, id never swear) I PROMISE id NEVER ever EVER ever EVER use dettol soap ever again. even if i'd loose 10 pounds after using it.
that day when i stayed over at na's house, her kitchen bathroom only had ONE kinda soap. which was dettol. so i used it lar. duh. and i used her moonlight or whatever body spray from body shop. and after that, robin kept asking me whether i bathed, like so many times!
so idiotic lar! so im never gonna use them both again. Naa-Aah.
yess. i think there was smth wrong with my tagboard. but anyway. i made it fatter. (: LOL.
11:11 AM
im done
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
i dunno why. ive wasted every single day of STUDY BREAK. like since last fri, till now, ive wasted 6 days.
like totally.
cant cant study ):
is it the rush around me? everyone who's anyone IS/ARE living for missions. I EVEN SAW JOSHUALIN! ( (: ) at the airport! my serve matey!
nana asked me to stayover at her house, before she left for cambodia. so i agreed. didnt know it would make me a depressed kid. i wasnt sad about her living. nono. it was how i think i've never seen THAT side to her.
its so strange how people cover up what they really are, and take up another nature.
the people you love MOST, always hurt you the deepest. cos they know how to hurt you BAD.
i hate this kinda thing lar. ive been through enough of TEN YEARS of this kinda crap.
somehow life is a vicious cycle huh? makes me fear humans more.
what if Jesus came back tmr, wouldnt it just be GREAT. can cut the crappy depressed SHEET on earth.
but then as veeny said: " LET ME GO NEPAL FIRST LAR WAHLAO!"
yar. so i have to endure like 4 papers, before i can start begging god to come back.
NOW.
10:36 AM
im done
Sunday, June 11, 2006
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY BELOVED GORE GOR (:
WHOOO. we had a WAY BELOW-standart dinner at cartel's last night. cos daddy was in tampines, and he didnt wanna travel. SO, after a SUPER productive afternoon of shopping with mummy at marina's, went to dinner. (: it was gross lar really. waste my fat storage space.
ANYWAY, when we came home, we watched the VERY FIRST movie we ever watched together in my room that is. MY GIRL. (: - 21 21 21. my bro might go aussie mann. last night they were talking about it. SIAN i say. antonio.robin. goregore. SIAN.
today church was cool. had to do infocom thingg. saw josh's pics of the stuff that happened in china.
went for lunch after. chris drove right, then those in the car were, chris, daniel, gavin, siqi me. THEN i was like " gavin, how are we gonna squeeze robin and veen into the car?!" gavin: " huh? they're coming ar? ask them to go in alex's car"
okay. so WE told robin to go in alex's car. and robin went to tell veen. so i close the door of chris's car. and when chris was gonna drive of, robin started making weird faces and signs. so we let him walk to the car. AND YOU KNOW WHAT HE DID?!
he opended the door, squeezed in, close the door, planting his BIG BUTT on the seat with no cares whatsoever! and he sit until so XI FOK SAI.
TSK! but it was really hilarious experience(: i LOVE my life alot. i dont think anybody would ever have such retardart things done to them!
anyway, after lunch, jj drove me home.(: so nice of him! cos it was raining and all. AND I WASNT ONE BIT WET. like andrew drove my black/whitebabe.
anyway anyway anyway, TODAY's reflections. i think god was like kinda asking me how far i would REALLY step out of my comfort zone. to obey him. the pictures i saw today, really made me think.
do i really have compassion? my patience for angsty smart alecs have grown lesser and lesser. i get irked when these kids, get rebellious and act as KNOW IT ALLS, when in actual fact, they dont see how they're ruining their lifes, they dont see and have no idea of what we'd know would DEFINITELY happen to them.
im speaking bout my 13 year old cousin. really. he doesnt wanna come to church with me. doesnt listen to my aunt. doesnt study. fails terrible. he barely made it through PSLE. he had 180. and he's FAILING in normal acad.
LIKE. he can be smart lar! i watched him grow up. of course i know what he's like. he used to like my precious baby brother.
but well. its tough huh. studies and all he failed LIT. and geog, and barely passed F&N like who fails f&N?!
yea. its like. sometimes i give up talking to him. its like talking to a bulldozer. it doesnt give three hoots that u want it to stop bulldozing the land. cos u're not the boss of the land. (not the boss of him brain/heart) so it just bulldoze its way through the land, and then, well that's nothing much u can do bout anything.
the hole's created. WHAT CAN YOU DO.
maybe God's teaching me how to handle kids? MY LITTLE DARLING DARIUS punched a guy! tsk tsk. what can i say. what can I SAY.
i need to really learn more compassion. what would you do when you see someone, dirty unhygenic, and has a weird stench. he has the greasiest hair, and the darkest eyes. their blood shot. his once pure white cotton shirt is now filled with holes, here and there. and its no longer white, but stained dark red and yellow. blood and- you wouldnt wanna touch him right.
but jesus did.
that's all i have to say.
jesus reached all the way down, to save the loss. he took their hand in his, even the DOWNRIGHT dirty and most awful teeko on earth, you cannot bear to forgive him for his unclean past, his past is all you can focus on. you cant accept the fact he's now a son of OUR god. you cant see his good points. only his fault.
how humane of us. thankyou very much.
for even the son of man did not come to be serve, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom to many. mark 10:45
3:30 PM
im done
Thursday, June 08, 2006
KNOW WHAT!? my week has been really great! i came home like at midnight on sun after GDOP. dead tired.
AND. i left my book by accident with MY black/white babe, who was leaving the next day for council camp. SO. the NICE bishop helped me keep it, and i met him and gavin for dinner, on tuesday i think? WELL. it was nice time, but THEY keep bullying me. INDIRECTLY.
rahhhhhhhhhhhh. ANTHONY ROBIN AND MY BROTHER, ARE THE WORST 21 year olds ive ever come acrossed! and that includes aloysious. na's brother, who's 21 too!
what's it with 21 year olds and me/us???
WHY DO THEY LIKE POKING FUN AT BENNETT AMANDA HANNAH.
(i wonder whether it applys to others.)
YUPPP. my brother will be turning 21 this weekend! ((((((: im gonna bye him red boxers and spray paint his cupboard red and his feet too! so when he wakes up on his birthday, he'll have red feet! what a way to start his 21st birthday.
WITH A BANG.
i wished. all the above is just crapp. i wont do that, LOL.
ANYWAY,
HELLOWORLD. i feel so random and happy now i'll just reply everybody here!
VEENNY: yoooooohoo. (: maybe just maybe, our schedules would CLICK and we'd go high on lunch at the COFFEESHOP below our BLOCKS. WHOO.((: xmen can wait. haha. by the time you finally have the time, xmen 4 would be out man. HA HA HA. darius: punky little king. hahah i know i know. i tagged ur board ready (: its cooler indeed. VONNAYE. oeeeei (: hellow babeh. how are things going?? karen: hello you! ABBYABBYABBY: abby abbbyabby. ahahaha. IM LOVING YOU.
SOMEONE, once told me, if you cut him up, you wont find the normal genetic links, you know, adenine, thymine, guanine, cytosine, NONO. when you cut him up, you'd find A C S. LOL. and the person loves the song LIUXINGYU but not LIUXINGHUAYUAN. i find that rather amusing.
hahahha.
SEE. im so happy and random!
dont ask me why either.
I DONT KNOW! (:
5:42 PM
im done
Saturday, June 03, 2006
anyway, i just read nique's blog. like how she blogged bout me. hahah. and then i thought about how much we've all changed. sometimes i wonder whether she'll hate me. for being who i am today.
both of us started in the same class of sec sch. landed in sec 3 TOGETHER, again. hung out. hated. swore. dissed. STOLE EGGS. can food and mayo, cos kiatty was hungry. LOL. teo sent us often to jwong's lil hut. (she was the one that thought me to pon sch! with kiatty)
but at the end of sec 3, i went to ONEcamp, changed. cos God came to my life, and then i suddenly changed. but then she wasnt there. when this happened. she stopped coming to sch often, cos of her girlfriend.
and yuyu and i became closer than ever. i didnt wanna go back to THE OLD ways. so yea. i became an angel, and she became the devil beside me. (like the name of the AWESOME taiwan drama!)
do u hate my god quay? the one whom you once loved. way back when all the hurt was already there. when we were both filled with hatred, and had nothing to live for . how we both once screeched the chorus of ABOVE ALL. and your fav was some sweet heart renching love song of how great god's love is. you knew the sparrow song. the everlasting, and that God will make a way. so why, why are we so different now?
everlasting your light will shine when all else fades>
5:56 PM
im done
havent really done my quiet time this week, was feeling angsty. and kept giving lameass excuses.
like im busy. RIGHT.
BUT when i did it today, GOD spoke to me, about some entry i wrote long ago.
"God has every right to be angry. Many dont understand God's anger because they confuse the wrath of God as the wrath of men. The 2 have LITTLE in common! Human anger is basically self-driven and prone to explosions of temper and violent deeds.
THIS is the anger of MAN. It is HOWEVER, NOT THE ANGER OF GOD.
GOD simply loves us TOO much and hates what when we turn from him."
SEE. my gosh./ i hope it makes some people think.
anyway, to end it off,
the question is not " how dare a loving god be angry at us?!" but, " how could a loving God feel anything less!"
when we do stupid things and end up hurting ourselves, our familymembers, our relationship; our LIVES. God knows what we'll end up in, how we'll end up. he'll know how we feel, and he'll know how we'll react/ or how we'll regret our actions. HOW COULD HE FEEL ANYTHING LESS!
like how i was so angry with brina. i let my tongue roll. now i feel so guilty. acting like a somewhat moron. adding to the convos. ): although what she did was dumb and irritating, NO EXCUSES RIGHT?
see what not doing quiet time can do to you! YEA.
4:56 PM
im done
i never knew it was THAT bad. sweaty palms only RIGHT. i was doing my genetics project, and wondered what sweaty palms' classified under. LOL. you should look at how people earn monayeeee! OH WELLS. go look for him if u wanna " change your life"
ohh yea..
END EXCESSIVE SWEATING. THANKS TO DR. GARZA, IT'S POSSIBLE!
Sweat. Perspiration. To some, it's a minor annoyance. But for those who suffer from excessive sweating, it's a serious consideration that can affect daily life, relationships and careers.
Many people, even some doctors, don't understand the problem and dismiss the symptoms as merely troublesome. Yet, the condition, called hyperhidrosis, can cause a person's hands, face, feet, underarms or torso to sweat uncontrollably.
Those who are plagued with hyperhidrosis are always reluctant in social and business settings, never knowing when they will experience the embarrassment of profuse sweating. People who suffer with hyperhidrosis are reluctant to share a hug, to dance, to play cards, to get close. Even something as simple as a handshake can be embarrassing.
Dr. Jim Garza, a thoracic surgeon, founded The Hyperhidrosis Center in 1982. His inspiration for The Hyperhidrosis Center came from years of encountering patients - and family members - who suffered unnecessarily from the condition. Since then, he has been curing patients with a simple outpatient procedure or with Botox®. He has performed over 6,000 procedures on patients with severe sweating of the hands, underarms and feet.
"Hyperhidrosis is an insidious condition often misunderstood not only by family members and friends, but also by physicians. The excessive sweating of hyperhidrosis manifests itself in a variety of conditions, both physical and emotional. It is my goal to further understanding of the disorder as well as to provide a treatment that is suited to the patient's degree of suffering."
If you suffer with hyperhidrosis, it's time to change your life.
oh yeaaaa...
11:46 AM
im done
Thursday, June 01, 2006
if you're
a) reich b) got nothing better to do c) wanna waste your money d) absolutely positive money is worth peanuts Z) all of the above
VOTE FOR PAUL TWOHILL(:
hahahahahah. i like he's singing. and i think he's cool in a weird way. he's so funny. and he's just got that X in his chromosomes. he just appeals to me lar. unlike those 24 year old ahpeks trying to act cool /
YEA>
my mom simply gets freaked out by him. she think's he's ghastly and then i asked her.
"mommy, what happens if i bring home a boyfriend like that?"
(:
