Thursday, January 26, 2006
somehow i decided to write a proper entry. one that looks really classy. like many lines, not just one liners. for a change. recently, ive been feeling really stupid. dumb. irritated. sad. crazy. stupid. dumb. hopeless. for very obvious reasons. yea. and SERVE's been really emotionally stirring. Rob Francis. tsk tsk. definitely emotionally wrecking for some, i guess.
then there's REV Barry, he's kinda good, and a little funny. somehow he made alot of sense. about making the right choices in life. about how the choices we make in life has nothing to do with us, but EVERYTHING to do with honouring God. about how the christians were in the past. how whenever people spat on them, persecuted them, mocked them, stoned them, tortured them, they'd still say, " God bless you" . how christians would Glorify God, and everybody or anybody you ask, they would surely know that christians are good people. WHY? cos christians help people, to honour God. to be like JESUS. but buddhists help people cos they wanna reach nirvana. strange isnt it.
and people like us, we have to be set apart! different from the world. we have to live SO differently that the world hates us. its true. displaying the love of GOD. our ALMIGHTY GOD. and once again, im reminded so clearly that if I really loved my God, id do anything for him. really really really. its such a simple theory. but once it comes to doing what we preach, we falter. the theory becomes to complex. in a moment of anger, when our parents are unreasonable, we try to swallow our anger. but then, the more they instigate us, the stronger the burning of anger we feel. what kinda christians are we? we have broken the fifth commandment. and then what's worst, we go on the curse them. how awful and inhumane can we be! there's so many other things we do.
my bad words are almost gone. ALMOST. in times of deep frustration, i used to think that the only last possible way i would be able to feel better,the only way i could release any drop of angst i had in me, was to SHOUT just ONE word only. be it bi t c h. or f. or whatever. its just only this ONE POINT NIGHTY NINE HUNDRED PERCENT in me. it happens only like the most five times a year. or so? yea well. frankly, its not even what I should be doing. terribly ashamed of myself.
REV Barry said today, with your mouth you honour God, and with you mouth, YOU GLORIFY GOD. and with the SAME mouth, you curse and swear, HOW CAN THAT BE?!
precisely. how can that be! ive learnt so much in SERVE, i dont think i wanna go back to the stubbon selfpleasing ways in life. i love GOD, i love the people he's given me. I love my friendships, and may it last forever.
Matthew 7:21 the verse that is ever so clear, ever so precise. the message is crystally portrayed.
in times like this. spirtual warfare and all that, that would happen, people will sell their souls, in exchange for short term pleasure- on earth, and loose their citizenship in heaven. sounds scary, but its true. spiritual warfare is such a scary thingg... i think.
oh wells, on a really lighter note, im going bankok in like 7 hours (: really excited to shop. swim, RELAX. but once again, my bro's not coming with us. i have to buy super ALOT of things for my serve mates and BEST FRIENDS. who are like SO demanding. NOT. X) so afraid i lack of bahts. and the weirdest thing my father said too me. " lets go there and buy lots of colgate. really cheap."
my goshhhh. my father. is. totally. beyond. HOPE. but its okay. at least i have something to roll my eyes about, (: and wanli! at dinner today, she put _ (heartshape) A. with her tao gay!
SO EMBARASSING! good think i smack the tao gay in time! and GEORGIEEE. he made my pic into a joker pic! like. - nothing to say ready. too lame. too funny. so yea. i'll be missing you guys! (:
LOVE.
